Mine!

I'm almost this happy.

One thing I always emphasize about divorce is that it is not a single event in a person's life. It's a long, drawn out, step by step process that begins and  ends long before and after the divorce decree is signed. It is less a break than it is a detangling, constantly untying connections to your former spouse.  Even after the ink is dry and the assets and liabilities (in theory) have been divided up, there is still the process of changing names,  removing names, signing over legal ownership, closing accounts, changing addresses, and so on and so forth. As much as you may be  ready to be totally rid of this person, the reality is that undoing your connected lives takes time.

I recently had a major event happen for me: I bought a new car!  Somehow, some way, I managed to gain mind control over some car dealer and got them to sell me a car despite the financial wreckage that I was left with post-divorce. The car is very nice, very similar to my faithful Honda Civic, a sexy-but-not-cutesy little car in a lovely shade of Black Cherry ("Her name is Cherry, we just met....."), Bluetooth, satellite radio, all the things I could ask for in a (relatively inexpensive) car. I dug my heels in and feel like I negotiated a good deal on it (considering my financial  situation). The salesman kept asking me why I wasn't more excited and smiling. Part of it was sheer disbelief, waiting for the manager to poke his head in saying they'd made a mistake, part of it is my usual hesitancy at making big ticket purchases, and part of it was game face. I actually really was happy to get such a nice car so soon, but my face didn't REALLY light up until I realized one fact: My ex husband's name would no longer be on my vehicle. *happy dance*

When I was married The Ex and I owned two vehicles, so logically we each took our primary vehicles in the divorce. His got repossessed, but I managed to keep paying mine despite my roller coaster job and money situation. Although according to our divorce decree said I got the Civic and he got the SUV, legally we were both owners of each vehicle. My title still had his name on it; the registration was in both of our names. Majority of the time it wasn't an issue (except for the time I even almost got stuck with a default judgment on unpaid parking tickets because they were sending notices to him and not to me) and practically speaking it didn't matter that his name was still on the car.  But psychologically I was a little miffed seeing his name each time I renewed my registration.  I just wanted to be rid of him altogether (well, as much as possible considering we still have kids together).

When I purchased my new car they gave me a rebate for switching from Honda to Kia so I had to give them my registration, and the reminder came again. Then as I was negotiating my price the sales guy reminded me that my previous car loan had a co-signer and he was trying to get me a good rate without one. That's when it really hit me. This is going to be MY car. Mine. Nobody else's. It won't belong to that legal fiction of one person that marriage is considered to be. I have total control over this vehicle; I can say where it goes and doesn't go and nobody can use it without my permission. I don't have to worry about a 300 lb person flopping down in my seats bending the edges and scraping up the trim, getting gum on the seats that he promises to clean off and never does, or just generally treating my car like crap because he's careless and doesn't care because it's not his.  I can also rid myself of the reminder of a time when I was scared out of my mind when my car got vandalized by The Ex (he still swears he didn't do it, but I know he had someone do it.... shit like that doesn't happen on its own randomly).  But more than just the vehicle itself, my new car represents another step away from my old life and toward my new one.  Another step in the right direction.

*Truly* murder-worthy behavior

I posted this back in October 2007, so here's a lil background: When The Ex and I separated, I took my Civic and he took the Durango. Now when we bought the Durango 2 years earlier, I never wanted it. Gas was in the mid-$2 range and I knew we'd never be able to get rid of it. So when it came time for me to get a new car (yes, he got a new car before I did when I started working full time..... but that's a whole 'nother issue) I was responsible and got a much cheaper, much more fuel efficient car.

Anyway, even though he took the Durango, I was still making BOTH payments on BOTH cars, including insurance. I tried to ask him nicely that all I wanted from him was to pay for his car..... I didn't ask for child support, I didn't ask for money on the household bills (including the debts), nothing. But this dude refused, and refused, and refused. So one day I was like fine, if I'm paying for both cars, I'm going to have both cars. I went to his job and I took it right there, and then had a friend bring me back to pick up my car. The next morning, this is what I woke up to..........

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WEDNESDAY October 3, 2007: (get ready, cuz it's some fucked up shyt....)

Soooooo..... this is what I woke up to this morning and saw as I was going outside to get my babies on the bus:



and.....

Needless to say, I was just a wee bit pissed.

Who could have done this in the middle of the night?? Perhaps the man who's truck I had to take back yesterday because he wouldn't man up and pay for it, who I busted trying to let the air out of the tires of my car as it sat down the street from his job (while accompanied by two dog head gorilla looking bitches.... can't even do your shyt solo), who was mad cuz I had to call the po-po on him for violating his restraining order?? Whodoya think??

And he thought writing a bitch-like phrase all across the sides and back of my car would point the finger away from him...... but doesn't he know that he's been so bitch-like over the past 5 months that it points DIRECTLY to him??? Please.

And then...... why was MY (yes MINE) Durango tire ALSO slashed?? That's SUCH a bitch move!! And WHY are you so stupid as to do the shyt the VERY SAME DAY I get into it with you over your bitch-like ways in wanting to live off of a female and not pay for what you use??

Damn, at least be stealthy and think about that shyt...... don't stick the gun in your pocket while it's still smoking.

But..... here's what my shyt looks like now:

AND.....

That's 4 hours of elbow grease, bitches!

Niggro didn't you know my daddy is the Black McGuyver??? And I'm DEFINITELY his daughter. What!!!

(And peep the Durango in the background.... it may be sitting on a flat, but yo ass is still walkin'.)

When, oh, when will he realize that he cannot fux with me??

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*Afterword: The Ex claims (swears/insists/persists) that he was not the one who vandalized my shyt...... whatever. If it wasn't him directly, it obviously was someone affiliated with him so basically he's guilty as the principal acting through an agent. I just had to put that out there for legal purposes so he doesn't do some bitch shyt like sue me for libel. And, he eventually did start paying on the Durango and I gave it back...... but now that MF is sitting on the repo lot. Anyone wanna buy an '05 Durango?? I'm sure you could get a good deal.