I have 3 words for you, loved ones: B!tches ain't sh*t. My apologies for my use of such a patently derogatory phrase.... but you all know that at least for some females in some situations, it's true. The situation that is my current frame of reference is one we have all observed and/or acted in accordance with, and that is the phenomenon of not wanting someone until someone else has them. I don't know why people-- both men and women-- are wired this way, but we just are. However, what I'm talking about are the actions that stem from these feelings, which we as human beings with free will and sense (in theory) have control over.
So this weekend was my beau's roommate's birthday celebration weekend. (*Note to Self: Self, do not try to keep pace drinking with people who are under 25, 26, or even 27. You are not 25 anymore. You will wind up hurting and cursing every single microorganism responsible for the alcohol fermentation process. Please and thank you, Self....) Friday night we went out to First Fridays (the first one I've been to since, oh, 2005) and I ended up meeting some females whom my beau said had expressed some interest in him in the past. They were all nice and friendly toward me, but I know there was some questions about who I was to him. Saturday the three of us ended up heading out separately.... Beau and Roomie left earlier to try and catch the fight, and I met up with one of my friends at another spot, but we later all met up at our usual Saturday spot. I got there late-- around 1:45-- so they had already been there for a minute. My beau said that those same "friendly" chicks were coming up to him and in his face all night, asking where his "girlfriend" (i.e. me) was and flirting extra hard. Now, I'm not saying that he wouldn't have had chicks trying to flirt (because he is a nice piece of African American man candy), but the intensity was definitely turned up a few notches, and I would bet my pinkie toe that it was because they'd seen me with him the night before and decided that they were going to rise to the challenge. (Sorry ladies, I still win.)
Another example of this phenomenon occurred about 2 weeks ago..... a chick invited Beau to her firm holiday party, which he turned down because 1) I have several friends at said firm and 2) he was correct to assume I'd be shitty if he went. Now, this chick is allegedly "just a friend" and I don't doubt my beau's interpretation of their interactions, but I know the nefarious intentions of women and I know that you just don't invite any old damn body to your company's formal holiday party (the big firms get swanky with theirs) and I know that "just friends" status can do a 180 after 3 hours with an open bar. I actually took a female friend to my firm's formal dinner when I was separated just to avoid all the assumptions and speculation. Anyway, it could've been chalked up to an honest mistake, except for the fact that he asked her AFTER knowing he was seeing someone and AFTER he'd told her that he was spending Thanksgiving with me (and you don't just spend Thanksgiving with any old damn body, either). My piggies are still a little achy from that bit of toe stepping.
So how do I respond to thesetoe stepping bitches situations? Answer: I don't feel the need to directly address them. Less mature women may respond with confrontation and stare downs and a lot of eye/neck rolling, but I don't see the need for all that. I'm not a person who is going to rush to his side anytime I see him talking to a female, or go online and make sure EVERYONE knows we're dating (I call this "pissing on his page".... i.e. marking my "territory") or send friend requests to every chick that seems to be showing a modicum of interest in order to keep tabs. I feel like all I need to do is 1) handle my bid'ness and 2) make my presence and existence known so that there is no confusion, and the rest doesn't matter. For example, Saturday night I made sure I got up from my late night power nap and got myself out to where my beau was hanging out.... but there was no need to rush and post up by his side and mean mug women, I just made sure my face was in the place. I actually take it as a compliment that other women are interested.... that means I've got a good thing, because only good things are in high demand. But then that raises the question...... aren't I being the same way, then?? The flip side of the same coin? Hmmm.... I literally JUST thought about that. Wow.... interesting perspective, Self (I have a serious problem with debating myself and never getting anywhere with it).
Anywho, I'm not one to trip on other women showing interest in the guy I'm dating. Try and talk to him, dance with him in the club, buy him a drink.... that's fine (so long as folks don't get blatantly disrespectful about it.... that I DON'T tolerate). I'm plenty confident enough in who I am and what I have to offer, so I know where he's going home to later.
So this weekend was my beau's roommate's birthday celebration weekend. (*Note to Self: Self, do not try to keep pace drinking with people who are under 25, 26, or even 27. You are not 25 anymore. You will wind up hurting and cursing every single microorganism responsible for the alcohol fermentation process. Please and thank you, Self....) Friday night we went out to First Fridays (the first one I've been to since, oh, 2005) and I ended up meeting some females whom my beau said had expressed some interest in him in the past. They were all nice and friendly toward me, but I know there was some questions about who I was to him. Saturday the three of us ended up heading out separately.... Beau and Roomie left earlier to try and catch the fight, and I met up with one of my friends at another spot, but we later all met up at our usual Saturday spot. I got there late-- around 1:45-- so they had already been there for a minute. My beau said that those same "friendly" chicks were coming up to him and in his face all night, asking where his "girlfriend" (i.e. me) was and flirting extra hard. Now, I'm not saying that he wouldn't have had chicks trying to flirt (because he is a nice piece of African American man candy), but the intensity was definitely turned up a few notches, and I would bet my pinkie toe that it was because they'd seen me with him the night before and decided that they were going to rise to the challenge. (Sorry ladies, I still win.)
Another example of this phenomenon occurred about 2 weeks ago..... a chick invited Beau to her firm holiday party, which he turned down because 1) I have several friends at said firm and 2) he was correct to assume I'd be shitty if he went. Now, this chick is allegedly "just a friend" and I don't doubt my beau's interpretation of their interactions, but I know the nefarious intentions of women and I know that you just don't invite any old damn body to your company's formal holiday party (the big firms get swanky with theirs) and I know that "just friends" status can do a 180 after 3 hours with an open bar. I actually took a female friend to my firm's formal dinner when I was separated just to avoid all the assumptions and speculation. Anyway, it could've been chalked up to an honest mistake, except for the fact that he asked her AFTER knowing he was seeing someone and AFTER he'd told her that he was spending Thanksgiving with me (and you don't just spend Thanksgiving with any old damn body, either). My piggies are still a little achy from that bit of toe stepping.
So how do I respond to these
Anywho, I'm not one to trip on other women showing interest in the guy I'm dating. Try and talk to him, dance with him in the club, buy him a drink.... that's fine (so long as folks don't get blatantly disrespectful about it.... that I DON'T tolerate). I'm plenty confident enough in who I am and what I have to offer, so I know where he's going home to later.
