Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

July 22, 2008

"Kiss my placenta...."

E.Badu and her daughter, Puma
I. Love. Erykah. Badu. Period. I would just love to sit in a room with her and just feel her presence and her vibe, and just listen to her dialogue. Below is a blog posting (allegedly originally posted on okayplayer.com, but I couldn't find it) that she wrote in response to all the criticisms and insults that have been directed toward her regarding her 3rd pregnancy, and I must say that it touched me to the CORE because she addresses many issues that I have/will/am about to address with this blog. I'm feeling her. Deeply.

I've included commentary, law review style with footnotes (I'm such a dork) at the end of her post. The emphasis added is mine.....those are key phrases that really spoke to me. Preach, sister.......

****************
peace,
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM

…AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.

ive never been so disgusted in all of my life.
there is no other place i used to enjoy more.
i post no where else.
you guys have taken an all time low, tho.

I’LL STATE MY PEACE

i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world.
my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met.
I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability.
i am their doctor and their nurse.
and even sometimes their mother and their father.

i am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.
I PUT MUCH TIME AND THOUGHT INTO HAVING AND RAISING MY CHILDREN.
IVE HAD THE HONORS OF HAVING 2 HOME BIRTHS AND 2 WONDERFUL PARTNERS BY MY SIDE.

every relationship i have been in was because i loved the person DEARLY and was dedicated to us “exclusively” FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.

the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends.
we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will.
WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END.
we took our own “vows” and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .

question?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
WHO IS THE JUDGE?
WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE EXAMPLES WE ARE GIVEN (well sort of)1

WOULD IT “LOOK BETTER” TO MARRY AND DIVIORCE AND MARRY AGAIN?
WOULD THAT BE MORALLY CORRECT?
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE? the government’s involvement i guess.
IDEALLY, IT WOULD BE EXCELLENT TO FIND THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO FULFILLS YOUR SPIRIT AND STAY FOR EVER AND EVER (thru sickness and health till death do us part) AND HAVE HEALTHY STRONG CHILDREN AS A RESULT OF A HEALTHY AND STRONG UNION.
(this CAN happen … we need much training , however.)2

OR

IS IT REALLY “GOOD” TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE UNFULFILLED , LONGING FOR RELIEF , BRINGING one another down as a result of improper training, creating BAD ENERGY AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE CHILD TO REPEAT?
(not to mention breeding deceit and anger and resentment)
SEEMS TO CREATE FEARFUL CHILDREN WHO TURN INTO FEARFUL ADULTS.3

HOW MANY OF YOU GREW UP IN 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE MISERABLE AS FUCK?4
OR 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE NOT PERFECT BUT WORKED?
HOW MANY GREW UP IN ONE PARENT HOMES WHERE THE MOTHER WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE CARED FOR BUT SHE WASNT QUITE HAPPY?
HOW ABOUT A HOME WHERE THE FATHER WAS THE MAIN CARE GIVER AND DID THE BEST HE COULD -LACKING NURTURE?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A SIBLING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER OR MOTHER?
DOES HE OR SHE MEAN LESS TO YOU?5
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 MOTHER OR FATHER OF YOUR OWN CHILDren?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAD/OR/ARE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN, THAT DONT QUITE FIT ANY OF THESE DESCRIPTIONS?
HOW MANY OF YOU STAY IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR FEAR OF GOING TO HELL?6
HOW MANY HOS OUT THERE … THAT HAVE KIDS TO GET A PAYDAY?
HOW MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEY ASS KICKED AND ARE FORCED TO SUBMIT CAUSE YO MAMA GOT HER ASS KICKED?
THEN WHAT is CORRECT?

how about this:

I PRAY WITH MY CHILDREN
I FEED THEM GOOD FOOD
THEY RESPECT PEOPLES DIFFERENCES
THEY TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH ME
THE KNOW WHO THEY ARE
THEY ADORE THEIR FATHERS AND ARE LOVED BY 2 PARENTS OR MORE -
OR TWO OR MORE SETS OF LOVING GRANDPARENTS
THEY CRY
THEY GET HURT
THEY GET SICK
THEY HEAL

THEY ARE real

THEY ARE NOT AN IDEA or a TOPIC
AND NEITHER AM I.
I AM ALIVE.
I AM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
I AM A GOOD WOMAM.
I AM GROWING
I AM COMPLETE WITH OR WITHOUT A PARTNER AND WILL ALWAYS BE
AND I HAVE DREAMS OF A FAMILY STRUCTURE
ALL OF MY DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE
AND DESPITE ALL OF THE PAIN IN MY LIFE …
IN MY MOTHERS LIFE …
IN MY GRANDMOTHERS LIFE
WE HAVE ALWAYS ENDURED
AND THERE IS SO MUCH JOY TO BE EXPERIENCED.7
I NEVER HAD A FATHER AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE -
BUT MY CHILDREN DO, AND THEY LOVE THEIR ‘PARENTS’.

WE ARE THEIR CHAMPIONS.

live how you want. follow which ever pattern YOU like.
MY CHILDREN WILL BE LEADERS
and they will not ever be slaves to this society’s failing idea of morality.
THEY OWN THEIR MINDS AND THEIR DREAMS.

BIRTH CONTROL lol … could have 10 babies instead of 2.

I LOVE CHILDREN AND I WILL HAVE AS MANY AS GOD WILL GIVE ME.

I AM VERY HEALTHY AND RESPONSIBLE AND SO ARE ALL OF MY PARTNERS

I CHOSE THEM WISELY AND SOBERLY.

ALL GOOD BROTHERS.

your opinions lack experience and are not only careless but also very uninformed and immature.

nothing is sacred here. and i see why.

if i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then
FUCK OFF… WHO NEEDS YOU ….CERTAINLY NOT ME … KICK ROCKS … CALL TYRONE … PACK LIGHT …. BITE ME8

i have defended myself here ON THIS SITE and hurled a few insults.. but only in response to your insults of
my music, my clothes, my lyrics, my hair, my being a woman, my spirit, my choices of partners….
these have all been on trial here. and i continued to support the energy of this place.

this is to all the okay players / REAL HUMAN BEINGS hiding behind screen names in order to insult one another and who ever else you will.

geeeez…
i had to say something
i am so sad for parents who try, today guys
enough is enuf.

dont judge to quickly, OKAY PLAYER?

i know you are having fun, but what if it were you and your children?
my son is 10.
my daughter, 4.

peace

ANALOGUE GIRL

and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.
**************
FOOTNOTES:

1. I am mindful of this going forward with my children. I want them to see happiness and joy and harmony and peace and LOVE..... not just a "union". My example wasn't the best, even though by society's view it was. And I didn't want to repeat that for them, because I saw it coming like a looming fog.

2. The "ideal" is hard to come by in ANYTHING in life. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes things change. Sometimes people just come into your life for a time, but then it's time for them to go. I don't want to be someone who marries and divorces and marries and divorces and marries and divorces just because marriage is the societal "gold standard". Pshaw! Anyone who thinks about that for more than 7 seconds knows that marriage isn't always the sacred, hallowed ground that our society tries to make it out to be, so much so that they will prevent people who love each other from marrying (i.e. same-sex marriages) yet encourage marriages that make no damn sense (i.e. Jamie Lynn Spears).

3. That's the point where I was at...... "longing for relief." And I saw us bringing each other down. And the energy was SO negative that it was painful. And resentment..... oh, I can't even begin to tell you how resentment poisons a home environment.... it's one of the most toxic emotions to a loving relationship. Does this environment create fearfulness?? It does, it does, it does. I was definitely a fearful child.... fearful that the anger and anamosity and conflict was always just around the corner. And still to this day I walk into my parents' house with a bit of anxiety and tension (I don't even wanna think about how many Djarum Black butts are on their front lawn). One of the biggest things I've had to conquer in the past year is FEAR. It's crippling. I don't want my kids to live with that.

4. Um, I did. :(

5. I didn't know until I was 12 years old that my oldest sister is my half sister, and not until years later did I learn that my mother was married before. I love my sister just the same as I love my other sister and brother, and my niece is no less to me than my two nephews. It's all family; it's all love.

6. Even though I'm not an incredibly religious person, I take God very seriously. And it did trouble me that I was breaking/broke the vow I made before God. But I think/hope/pray that (S)He will forgive me. For everything.

7. So much joy to be experienced..... yes. I did not want to be trapped in a toxic bubble--or my children to be trapped in a toxic bubble-- blocking out all the joy that life has to offer, merely for the sake of saying we had a "traditional" family. There is much joy to be had in non-traditional familes, too.

8. *claps hands like an excited child* Tell 'em, Erykah!! No fan lost here FA SHO! This has just made me love Erykah more. I may just be parked outside of Target at 7:55am on July 29th (??) to get New Amerykah Pt. II, and Dwele will be getting evicted from my CD player and iPod for quite awhile.

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Adventures in Divorce: "Kiss my placenta...."

"Kiss my placenta...."

E.Badu and her daughter, Puma
I. Love. Erykah. Badu. Period. I would just love to sit in a room with her and just feel her presence and her vibe, and just listen to her dialogue. Below is a blog posting (allegedly originally posted on okayplayer.com, but I couldn't find it) that she wrote in response to all the criticisms and insults that have been directed toward her regarding her 3rd pregnancy, and I must say that it touched me to the CORE because she addresses many issues that I have/will/am about to address with this blog. I'm feeling her. Deeply.

I've included commentary, law review style with footnotes (I'm such a dork) at the end of her post. The emphasis added is mine.....those are key phrases that really spoke to me. Preach, sister.......

****************
peace,
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM

…AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.

ive never been so disgusted in all of my life.
there is no other place i used to enjoy more.
i post no where else.
you guys have taken an all time low, tho.

I’LL STATE MY PEACE

i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world.
my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met.
I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability.
i am their doctor and their nurse.
and even sometimes their mother and their father.

i am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.
I PUT MUCH TIME AND THOUGHT INTO HAVING AND RAISING MY CHILDREN.
IVE HAD THE HONORS OF HAVING 2 HOME BIRTHS AND 2 WONDERFUL PARTNERS BY MY SIDE.

every relationship i have been in was because i loved the person DEARLY and was dedicated to us “exclusively” FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.

the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends.
we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will.
WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END.
we took our own “vows” and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .

question?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
WHO IS THE JUDGE?
WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE EXAMPLES WE ARE GIVEN (well sort of)1

WOULD IT “LOOK BETTER” TO MARRY AND DIVIORCE AND MARRY AGAIN?
WOULD THAT BE MORALLY CORRECT?
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE? the government’s involvement i guess.
IDEALLY, IT WOULD BE EXCELLENT TO FIND THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO FULFILLS YOUR SPIRIT AND STAY FOR EVER AND EVER (thru sickness and health till death do us part) AND HAVE HEALTHY STRONG CHILDREN AS A RESULT OF A HEALTHY AND STRONG UNION.
(this CAN happen … we need much training , however.)2

OR

IS IT REALLY “GOOD” TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE UNFULFILLED , LONGING FOR RELIEF , BRINGING one another down as a result of improper training, creating BAD ENERGY AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE CHILD TO REPEAT?
(not to mention breeding deceit and anger and resentment)
SEEMS TO CREATE FEARFUL CHILDREN WHO TURN INTO FEARFUL ADULTS.3

HOW MANY OF YOU GREW UP IN 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE MISERABLE AS FUCK?4
OR 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE NOT PERFECT BUT WORKED?
HOW MANY GREW UP IN ONE PARENT HOMES WHERE THE MOTHER WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE CARED FOR BUT SHE WASNT QUITE HAPPY?
HOW ABOUT A HOME WHERE THE FATHER WAS THE MAIN CARE GIVER AND DID THE BEST HE COULD -LACKING NURTURE?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A SIBLING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER OR MOTHER?
DOES HE OR SHE MEAN LESS TO YOU?5
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 MOTHER OR FATHER OF YOUR OWN CHILDren?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAD/OR/ARE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN, THAT DONT QUITE FIT ANY OF THESE DESCRIPTIONS?
HOW MANY OF YOU STAY IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR FEAR OF GOING TO HELL?6
HOW MANY HOS OUT THERE … THAT HAVE KIDS TO GET A PAYDAY?
HOW MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEY ASS KICKED AND ARE FORCED TO SUBMIT CAUSE YO MAMA GOT HER ASS KICKED?
THEN WHAT is CORRECT?

how about this:

I PRAY WITH MY CHILDREN
I FEED THEM GOOD FOOD
THEY RESPECT PEOPLES DIFFERENCES
THEY TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH ME
THE KNOW WHO THEY ARE
THEY ADORE THEIR FATHERS AND ARE LOVED BY 2 PARENTS OR MORE -
OR TWO OR MORE SETS OF LOVING GRANDPARENTS
THEY CRY
THEY GET HURT
THEY GET SICK
THEY HEAL

THEY ARE real

THEY ARE NOT AN IDEA or a TOPIC
AND NEITHER AM I.
I AM ALIVE.
I AM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
I AM A GOOD WOMAM.
I AM GROWING
I AM COMPLETE WITH OR WITHOUT A PARTNER AND WILL ALWAYS BE
AND I HAVE DREAMS OF A FAMILY STRUCTURE
ALL OF MY DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE
AND DESPITE ALL OF THE PAIN IN MY LIFE …
IN MY MOTHERS LIFE …
IN MY GRANDMOTHERS LIFE
WE HAVE ALWAYS ENDURED
AND THERE IS SO MUCH JOY TO BE EXPERIENCED.7
I NEVER HAD A FATHER AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE -
BUT MY CHILDREN DO, AND THEY LOVE THEIR ‘PARENTS’.

WE ARE THEIR CHAMPIONS.

live how you want. follow which ever pattern YOU like.
MY CHILDREN WILL BE LEADERS
and they will not ever be slaves to this society’s failing idea of morality.
THEY OWN THEIR MINDS AND THEIR DREAMS.

BIRTH CONTROL lol … could have 10 babies instead of 2.

I LOVE CHILDREN AND I WILL HAVE AS MANY AS GOD WILL GIVE ME.

I AM VERY HEALTHY AND RESPONSIBLE AND SO ARE ALL OF MY PARTNERS

I CHOSE THEM WISELY AND SOBERLY.

ALL GOOD BROTHERS.

your opinions lack experience and are not only careless but also very uninformed and immature.

nothing is sacred here. and i see why.

if i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then
FUCK OFF… WHO NEEDS YOU ….CERTAINLY NOT ME … KICK ROCKS … CALL TYRONE … PACK LIGHT …. BITE ME8

i have defended myself here ON THIS SITE and hurled a few insults.. but only in response to your insults of
my music, my clothes, my lyrics, my hair, my being a woman, my spirit, my choices of partners….
these have all been on trial here. and i continued to support the energy of this place.

this is to all the okay players / REAL HUMAN BEINGS hiding behind screen names in order to insult one another and who ever else you will.

geeeez…
i had to say something
i am so sad for parents who try, today guys
enough is enuf.

dont judge to quickly, OKAY PLAYER?

i know you are having fun, but what if it were you and your children?
my son is 10.
my daughter, 4.

peace

ANALOGUE GIRL

and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.
**************
FOOTNOTES:

1. I am mindful of this going forward with my children. I want them to see happiness and joy and harmony and peace and LOVE..... not just a "union". My example wasn't the best, even though by society's view it was. And I didn't want to repeat that for them, because I saw it coming like a looming fog.

2. The "ideal" is hard to come by in ANYTHING in life. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes things change. Sometimes people just come into your life for a time, but then it's time for them to go. I don't want to be someone who marries and divorces and marries and divorces and marries and divorces just because marriage is the societal "gold standard". Pshaw! Anyone who thinks about that for more than 7 seconds knows that marriage isn't always the sacred, hallowed ground that our society tries to make it out to be, so much so that they will prevent people who love each other from marrying (i.e. same-sex marriages) yet encourage marriages that make no damn sense (i.e. Jamie Lynn Spears).

3. That's the point where I was at...... "longing for relief." And I saw us bringing each other down. And the energy was SO negative that it was painful. And resentment..... oh, I can't even begin to tell you how resentment poisons a home environment.... it's one of the most toxic emotions to a loving relationship. Does this environment create fearfulness?? It does, it does, it does. I was definitely a fearful child.... fearful that the anger and anamosity and conflict was always just around the corner. And still to this day I walk into my parents' house with a bit of anxiety and tension (I don't even wanna think about how many Djarum Black butts are on their front lawn). One of the biggest things I've had to conquer in the past year is FEAR. It's crippling. I don't want my kids to live with that.

4. Um, I did. :(

5. I didn't know until I was 12 years old that my oldest sister is my half sister, and not until years later did I learn that my mother was married before. I love my sister just the same as I love my other sister and brother, and my niece is no less to me than my two nephews. It's all family; it's all love.

6. Even though I'm not an incredibly religious person, I take God very seriously. And it did trouble me that I was breaking/broke the vow I made before God. But I think/hope/pray that (S)He will forgive me. For everything.

7. So much joy to be experienced..... yes. I did not want to be trapped in a toxic bubble--or my children to be trapped in a toxic bubble-- blocking out all the joy that life has to offer, merely for the sake of saying we had a "traditional" family. There is much joy to be had in non-traditional familes, too.

8. *claps hands like an excited child* Tell 'em, Erykah!! No fan lost here FA SHO! This has just made me love Erykah more. I may just be parked outside of Target at 7:55am on July 29th (??) to get New Amerykah Pt. II, and Dwele will be getting evicted from my CD player and iPod for quite awhile.

Labels: , ,