Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

August 18, 2010

Leave me out of it

In the midst of starting riots on Twitter today with my discussions regarding whether having a baby is an effective (though not very efficient or long lasting) means of getting a man to the altar, I get a phone call from The Ex:
Ex:  Have you talked to your mom today?

Me: No.....

Ex: Ok, well have you talked to Daughter today?

Me: Um, no..... why? *confused look*

Ex: So as far as you know she's still in school?

Me: ....... uh, yea..... *starting to worry*

Ex: Ok then.  Lies... just lies......

Me: What the hell is going on??

Ex: Oh I just got a message from [New Baby Momma] saying that Daughter was at the hospital with my ex-mother-in-law and son.  Never mind, she's playing games.

Me:  Um.... ok.......
This little dialogue left me scratching my head wondering...... my mother is notorious for not telling people bad news, but if it's something with my kids she would have been blowing my phone up.  Plus the fact that I would have received a call from the school.  So I called him back to clarify whether she may have been talking about Little Meech (their son) and her ex-mother-in-law (I don't know if she has one though) at the hospital with her daughter, and he says no, the message specifically said our daughter's name.  Apparently ole girl called his job, left a message, then called him on his cell and said "check your messages" and hung up.

This would all make for just another amusing antidote to my otherwise dull day except for one thing: She's involving my children, which necessarily involves me.  Had she chosen any other subject to lie on, I would have never known and my day could have gone along it's smooth and merry way, and I could have continued to stir up drama on Twitter with my inquires on what actually gets men to the altar.  But her stupid games caused me to have to worry about the well-being of my children and question the courtesy and sanity of my mother.

Thus far I have taken a neutral stance when it comes to this woman.  She is, plain and simply, not my problem.  Slight amusement, yes; problem, no.  Today's tomfoolery, however, has that once neutral balance tipping in a negative direction.  Apparently this woman did not think (or care) that if she causes some panic in The Ex based on a lie she told about our kids that it would also cause the same level of concern with me.  I become collateral damage in their little battle over goodness knows what and who cares.  That is where I draw the line.  They can play the cliche Baby Momma/Baby Daddy war games, but the second that my children and/or I get drawn into it, there will be problems.  This whole scenario has the makings of very bad business, and I want no parts of it.  I certainly hope he checks her on this and this is the first and last time I have to be involved in their new-age ghetto mess.  But if not..... well, we'll see where that adventure goes.

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UPDATE:  As it turns out, and I should have known, The Ex had it all wrong.  I should have went with my first mind and said "wait, that doesn't sound right" but I'd asked and second guessed, and he insisted that Baby Momma #2 was playing games.  He got the message all wrong, but instead of confirming first he called me and got me involved.  Hot messery.... leave me out of it.

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August 11, 2010

Karma is a bitch.... with child

Ok, I think I'm finally ready to write about this.

I know that the frequency of my "adventures" have decreased dramatically, which is a good thing for me (but not so good when maintaining a blog about Adventures in Divorce). However, my ex-husband always manages to keep the party live and send me on brand new adventures, whether I care to go or not.

So a few weeks ago, The Ex texts me on a random Tuesday and tells me that I must go pick up the kids immediately, that he's had to leave town and they are home by themselves. No explanation aside from "I have an emergency out of town" which would be plausible had he actually traveled to the west coast where his family lives, not the next state over. Then he tells me he'll be back "in a few days, maybe by Friday". I ask Son what's going on and he says his dad needed to go out of town "for work or something". Needless to say, I was a little pissed because I had no way to plan for the kids being around (i.e. food in the house, logistical coordination for practices and activities, etc.) however, at that point I had no choice but to go get my children, and he knew that which is why he did it.

Friday rolls around and because I was planning to go out of town that evening, I sent The Ex a text to confirm that he would be back that afternoon to get the kids. His response: "I'll be back Sunday night." Can you say R-A-G-E?? I launched a text assault the likes of which have not been seen since AD 2007. I told him he was inconsiderate, un-trustworthy, and to at least give me the same level of courtesy that he would give someone on the street. I didn't even wait for responses, I had to get all that out because I was sick of being bullied and punked by him because he knew I would not do wrong by my kids. Oddly, though, all he kept saying was "Sorry, I had an emergency" which is VERY uncharacteristic of him. Then all the sudden he calls me and says he has to tell me what's going on, and this is what he says:

"I have another kid."

I burst out laughing. Not as loud and hearty as I wanted to because I was at work, but I guarantee the people in the office on the other side of the hallway door heard me. My initial laughter came from the fact that not 10 minutes earlier I had jokingly tweeted that I suspected the reason he had to rush out of town so abruptly-- and had forewarned me that he would need to do so at the beginning of the summer -- was that he'd knocked some side chick up and had to rush to see the baby born. I was dead on; turns out he got a chick pregnant that he was fooling around with during a "break up" with his main boo, who coincidentally and inexplicably I had the occasion to meet (Sidenote: his boo thang of 3 years couldn't have kids, which was specifically a reason he told me he got with her in the first place so he wouldn't have to worry about that). My second wave of laughter came from the sheer absurdity of the fact that he didn't tell our kids (or anyone else aside from his momma and his BFF) ahead of time. I mean, who does that?? And how old are we??? One of my Twitter friends summed it up best: "That was mighty hood of him." And my most prevalent reason for my outburst was gratitude for Karma coming in and delivering a better payback for all his BS antics toward me than I could ever imagine or pull off myself. Forget keying his crappy car or kicking over his motorcycle, the Universe did it 1000 times better. Karma is a bitch.... with child.

If you've been following this blog for awhile, you know some of what I am talking about..... fighting my friends, spray painting my car, being inconsiderate with pick ups and drop offs, regularly calling me out of my name, and a myriad of other bitchassed behaviors that any other XY who calls himself a man would be embarrassed to even think about. But what stuck out to me the most was an incident last year at Son's football fundraiser where he thought I said I was pregnant (and I felt no need or desire to correct is erroneous assumptions simply because I knew it would piss him off) and hurled all kinds of horrible insults at me via text about how irresponsible and stupid I was, and almost got into a fight with my beau right there in the bingo hall. Just foolishness. Who's the irresponsible one now, huh??

Some of my friends have asked how I feel about this whole situation, thinking that maybe I would be upset that he's "moved on" or that he has a child with someone other than me. Please.  I could care less.  Aside from the Maury-like curiosity factor and the fact that how can you not like a baby (especially one that looks uncannily similar to your first born).  Hopefully this will help him move on and stop using our old joint e-mail address with my initials and our anniversary date. I just hope that he steps up and takes care of this child and is around for my children's sake, so that they can have a relationship with their younger brother (I am very big on treating step-siblings like whole siblings). Daughter is ecstatic already, but Son is still upset about it (and for good reason..... we're telling him to be safe and careful when it comes to sex, and his dad goes out and does the exact opposite?? Way to lead by example, Dad). I bear no ill will against this woman, or this innocent baby (despite calling him Little Meech because his name is extremely similar to my Son's name). I will do nothing to discourage the relationship between my kids and their new sibling. I'm actually glad I didn't have to be the one to introduce the concept of a new sibling to my kids. If I have any more children, this issue will be old hat to them.

So congrats to The Ex on the new addition to his, um, family.... on acquiring a Baby Momma #2 and becoming a Baby Daddy once again.  My condolences to him on losing his cougar and now having to continue to have her as a boss after getting another woman pregnant.  And best wishes actually having to deal with the child support and state guideline visitation system (which he does not have to deal with from me). Maybe he'll appreciate me more, who knows.

Yes, loved ones, this particular adventure has just begun......

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Adventures in Divorce: 08/2010 - 09/2010

Adventures in Divorce