February 27, 2012

Evolution


"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  I am no longer the sad, frustrated, misunderstood, repressed individual that you knew back then.  I no longer have to pretend that I want a life that I am clearly unhappy with; clear to everyone but myself.  I have found the peace of self-acceptance and the courage to want more.

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  I am older, more experienced, wiser.  I have seen the errors in my ways and have worked hard to correct them.  I have been consumed by the fires of life and rose from the ashes like a phoenix.  My new crown of locs is my plumage, not an act of vanity. My mistakes do not repeat. 

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  I am now with someone who loves me for me, not who he wants me to be.  I have been allowed to be at peace with myself, to be comfortable in my own skin, to rejoice in my idiosyncrasies.  I no longer have to hide or shove myself into ill fitting spaces, just to appease you.

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed. As I age I am more concerned about my physical and mental well-being.  I am conscious of the foods I put into my body, and I want my kids to have healthy, well-balanced meals.  I have someone who inspires and encourages me to stay active.  I refuse to let myself go.

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  My children are older, they are becoming individuals.  I cannot parent them as I did when they were small.  They need more guidance, order and structure, and I have to wield a firmer hand at 13 than I did at 3.  My kids may not like it, but they love and respect me for it.

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  I have realized that my "dream job" was always someone else's dream, and I stopped thinking of myself as a failure for not wanting the dream that you wanted for me.  I am relieved that I no longer have to provide anyone else with unearned status and legitimacy.    

"You've changed."

Of course I have changed.  We all should change.  Nobody should remain in the same station in life as they were at 17, 23, or 29.  We should all want more, want better, make adjustments, correct errors, build upon life.  You will not keep me down on your level by stifling and criticizing my personal growth.

"You've changed."

No, I have not changed.... I have evolved.


 

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