Fin

This will be my last blog post here at Adventures in Divorce. I can't say I've been thinking about this for awhile.... like many decisions I make it came more in the form of an epiphany than mulling over it, weighing the pros and cons, and finally arriving at a decision. That's not to say this is a rash, un-thought out decision. I think it's just time.Originally when I started this blog, the purpose was somewhat therapeutic for me..... so much craziness was going on dealing with my divorce that I needed to let it out (and sometimes laugh) to keep from crying. I wanted to connect with other...

Weekly Love Horoscope

Cancer Weekly Love Horoscope(June 21 - Jul 22)For the Week of Oct 5th, 2009 -- The Moon in your sign brings your emotions to a peak. These could mean some intense moments, especially late Friday and on Sunday. Trying to hold on to what you have can be frustrating as it's better to let go or make radical changes now. A strong attraction for someone needs to be tested over time instead of assuming that he or she feels the same way.Sagittarius Weekly Love Horoscope(Nov 22 - Dec 21)For the Week of Oct 5th, 2009 -- If you're really serious about your...

EBS Friday Edition: It's Your Move

Across Your Breadby Jill ScottI'm juss gon say what I need tojuss gon put it on the tableAnd spread it across your breadAs much as I didn't wantI have stumbledtrippedfallen ova myself in love with every molecule ofyouThe walk on youThe way you out then in breatheSimply your eyes mangot my thighs swellin' and my knees beggin' to partI do (shaking my head up and down)I dolove everything about youAll that makes you youAnd what I do not know, I swear I will love tooIf you just show meI know it's crazy but I swearMy heart doesn't pump bloodWhen you are not near meI juss walk my way through life comatoseTil...

"It's a dangerous necessity.... a world famous mystery......"

"It's a dangerous necessity, a world famous mystery.......".......Love.It is such a small word. Too small, in fact. And yes, I do mean "small" in the sense that it is insufficient to encompass and characterize the range of human emotions and experiences that the word is used to describe. There really needs to be more words, a delineation of the different types of love, sort of like how Eskimos supposedly have many different words for "snow".The Greeks got close.... they have 6 different words for love:* Agapē (αγάπη agápē) means "love" in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ),...

My Chemical Romance Part Deux: The Spiritual Connection

Yesterday I discussed the scientific and biological reasons why a Friends with Benefits arrangement just doesn't work. We're hard wired for it NOT to work. Well today I'm featuring a guest blog post by WifeofUriah that addresses the issue from a different aspect..... the spiritual aspect.Science and spirituality..... at first glance they are seemingly at odds. But really they are in perfect harmony with each other. I may seem like a big ole heathen not be the most religious person in the world, but I do believe in a Creator and that there are forces and energies at work that cannot be seen...

My Chemical Romance

No, not talking about this Chemical Romance:I'm talking about THIS chemical romance:That, loved ones, is the molecular structure for Oxytocin..... the chemical that induces labor (the synthetic form is Pitocin.... I'm sure every mother has at least heard of it), the chemical that is released during breast feeding that "lets down" the milk (otherwise we'd be leaving puddles of milk everywhere all the time) and causes bonding between mother and baby, and it's the chemical that helps us create emotional bonds with people in general. Oxytocin also...

Emotional Baggage Sundays: Contrition

I have really got to get this song off repeat in my life playlist.... take it off the iPod, delete it out of iTunes, throw the CD out the window into oncoming traffic. Like Jill, I am Beautifully Human, and human means mistakes, weaknesses, and fallacies. But some things in my life aren't so beautiful, and therefore this song has got to go......The future will be better."I'm truly sorry, baby........"...

EBS Mid-Week Edition: Little Girl Lost

I was going through some old draft blog posts that didn't get posted for one reason or another.... didn't finish them, thought better not to post them, or the topics just didn't pan out the way I wanted. Some of these posts I'd imported from my original MySpace blog, and while I have posted a few (see Pre-Divorce) there are still a few collecting dust.I came across this one that I wrote over 2 years ago, not too long after I'd separated and just 4 days before this happened..... yes, it was a bad time for me. But sadly, as I re-read this, for a second I thought it was something I'd written recently...

That's not your wifey

I have a serious, major, infuriating pet peeve right now, and it concerns the word "Wife".Today on Twitter, the trending topics of the day included #dontwifeher/#wifeher and #dontcuffhim/#cuffhim. Now, for all of my non-urban readers (or those of us who still have not had our Black Card reinstated), let me give you a little background on the terms:1. wifing -- when a guy decides to make one girl, his number one. At this point he will be talking about loving you, buying you stuff.2. wifey --a. A REAL Lady, Not your only but your favourite, different...

The Meaning of Michael: Deeper Than Philosophy

"Beethoven says that music is deeper than philosophy..... because in the end we're finite creatures. We don't have a language, or even a linguistic eloquence, that can begin to be fully truthful to the experiences that we have the short time we are here in time and space. So therefore you need some sounds.....even some noise. Organized noise. We need silence between the notes and the sounds that get at the deeper truths of who we are....." ~ Dr. Cornel West(click to listen and download)It is my utter joy and privilege share with you the best...

Never grown enough for Grown Folks Stuff

As a parent, there are just some things that you don’t do when it comes to your kids. Whether your child is 3, 13 or 35, you just don’t put your child in the middle of your marital problems. That should be something you deal with between you and your spouse with as little involvement and input from your children as possible.Apparently, my dad did not get that memo.Yes, loved ones, for once I’m not talking about my own divorce here. And while my parents aren’t divorced, there are many times where I sure the hell wish they were just so I wouldn’t be subject to the boolsheet I was subject to last...

Emotional Baggage Sundays (+1): Fighting the Urge to Fight

I have a confession to make..... as much as I subscribe to the school of thought that you just have to let stuff go, I still harbor a lot of anger, hostility and pissedoffedness toward The Ex. Like, I get really, REALLY angry to the point where I'd like to commit trespass to his chattels (something along the lines of this) or some other act resulting in grievous bodily harm (but only in my mind, loved ones..... only in my mind). I'm usually a pretty laid back person who doesn't get worked up over much, especially when there's nothing I can do about it. But dealing with The Ex frustrates me...

How Love Works: Divorce from a Kid's Perspective

I'm not 110% certain that this was actually written by a child (you never know with things you receive in e-mail chains), but the message is the same nonetheless. Kids see, feel and experience much more than you think they do, and this is especially important to remember when it comes to divorce. The following is hilarious..... but not. Enjoy.F...

"Did you see my Tweet about.......?"

So yes, loved ones, I know I've been seriously slacking on the blogging front. But it's really been for legitimate reason, I swear...... ok, maybe not swear, but that's my present argument. But for real, part of the reason is that this blog originally was to be about my "adventures" going through and post-divorce, and one very fruitful source of inspiration is the world of dating.Well, I'm not dating.Yes, loved ones, I've been officially boo'd up for quite some time now, so there is much less tom- and kimfoolery to write about.Except.... there...

Told you so (a follow up)

Yesterday I wrote a blog post analyzing the question of "how do you know him???" that I received in a message on Facebook in which I concluded that "just out of curiosity" means "I really want the scoop on this man who was/I wish to be mine" and that anyone responding to such a question should proceed with caution. Once again, my unheeded prophetess sense didn't fail me. Here's an excerpt of the message I was sent in response:"Oh ok I know [so-and-so] from school I had the biggest crush on him too...."Bingo-bango. Told you ...

How do you know HIM???

Today I got a Facebook friend request from a friend of a friend whom I'd hung out with a few times (ok, so we all went on a trip together, so she's more than just a passing acquaintance) and this is the message she sent me along with the request:"Hey, How are you doing girl? How's things going with you? I was looking threw your page and on friend lists I seen [so-and-so] just out curiosity how do you know him???"Now, anyone who has ever used Facebook, or MySpace, or any other social networking site knows that nobody actually knows everyone on their friend list. On Facebook, the friend request...

Better safe than sorry.....?

So today on Twitter I was following and participating in a discussion initiated by The Red Pump Project regarding opinions on women who carry condoms. The discussion began as follows:Question: Ladies, how do you feel about carrying condoms on you? Men: Would you frown upon your girl if she had condoms in her purse? (@RedPumpProject)Here were some of the responses to the discussion:WORD RT @anesidora I used to carry them & see nothing wrong with it. Presumably guys have condoms on deck, so why can't we? No excuses. (my response, of course)RT @superhussy @RedPumpProj why not? i have to protect...

"Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers...."

I am officially done with traditional legal practice. I'm completely jaded. I tried, I really, really did.... for 5 years. And I've come to the realization that this ish just isn't me.Here's proof in black and white from a book that I was required to read for work (that, BTW, I never finished):"I feel the need at this juncture to direct or word to those readers who might be slightly put off by the seeming "game" and "gamesmanship" aspects of what we have and will be discussing. I don't want to wax too philosophical, and I suppose this could be handled more gently, but the fact is that the...

Independence is overrated

Much ado is made about the appeal of the "independent woman" versus a more "traditional woman", particularly among the black community. Quick..... name 5 songs about "Independent" women! *cue Jeopardy music*1. "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo2. "Independent" by Webbie3. "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child4. .....5. ......Crap, I'm drawing a blank. Anyway, you get the idea.Yes, there is a certain appeal and value to a woman who can provide for herself and contribute to a relationship. However, the Dark Side of this independent woman movement is the A.B.W. Syndrome..... the woman who will hoot...