"Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers...."

I am officially done with traditional legal practice. I'm completely jaded. I tried, I really, really did.... for 5 years. And I've come to the realization that this ish just isn't me.

Here's proof in black and white from a book that I was required to read for work (that, BTW, I never finished):

"I feel the need at this juncture to direct or word to those readers who might be slightly put off by the seeming "game" and "gamesmanship" aspects of what we have and will be discussing. I don't want to wax too philosophical, and I suppose this could be handled more gently, but the fact is that the world of business is peppered with gaming elements, and negotiating and acquisition may well be the biggest game of all. I say this with no disrespect or opprobrium; quite the contrary, it is these very ingredients--the movement of big money, a high-level of matching of wits, achieving tangible results in an expeditious time frame-- that for me make acquisition work so fascinating. But it would be delusional to suggest that this kind of endeavor has a number of socially redeeming features, and if you hanker for that, negotiating deals will probably leave you empty and dissatisfied."

~ James C. Freund, Anatomy of a Merger: Strategies and Techniques for Negotiating Corporate Acquisitions, Section 2.4.3 (reprinted without permission, so I will probably be getting sued by this shark)

Empty and dissatisfied. Yup, that sums it up. And when you are totally devoid of passion, it shows in your work, especially when you are working with someone who is a ZEALOT for type of thing. I'm just not that adversarial and confrontational and, well, dirty. I went into transactional law trying to AVOID the adversarial climate of litigation, but I've come to realize that it's still there, just in different forms. At least in litigation the lines are definite and drawn and you know who, how and why you're trying to screw someone over. The transactional world is a bit sneakier about it.... you have to make the other person seem like they are winning when you're really just lining them up for a good screwing (sans lube).

Yup, I'm finally admitting it to myself..... I just don't have it in me. I'm smart as all get out, but I just lack that certain je ne sais quois (i.e. win at all costs cut throatism). Don't get me wrong, I love law...... the research, the analysis, the problem solving, the writing...... it's just the screwing part I have the problem with, and unfortunately in traditional practice that's where the rubber meets the road.

So aside from contract specialist work or compliance officer or something like that, I'm D-O-N-E (if I possibly have any say in the matter, which, in this economy, then answer leans toward "B....., not really"). Right now I'm looking to break into academia.... not necessarily as an instructor, but just in that realm period. I think my eccentric nature, idiosyncrasies, and outside the box nature are better suited to the academic world than the corporate one.

My "dream job", however, is in writing and publishing.... and not even just my own work. I know this sounds sick, but I like editing (even though I don't FULLY edit my blog posts so don't hold me to that high of a standard, but if I had to I could spot a period at the end of a sentence that is accidentally bolded when the rest of the text isn't). It's funny (not in a ha-ha funny kind of way though) that I remember a career day that they had at my high school and you could choose which presentations you wanted to attend. I picked law, journalism, and something else (I forget because I was busy puking from morning sickness..... *sigh*) and my favorite was actually journalism. That is, until I found out that they don't make a lot of money generally. I wish I could go find a time machine, corner my high school self in the bathroom, rough her up a little bit and tell her that's a stupid way to make a career choice, tell her never to mention that this happened or else, get back in my time machine and come back to 2009. Would have saved myself a lot of heartbreak......and student loan money.

So, anyone thinking about going to law school (and I wish I had a dime for everyone who has ever told me they thought/are thinking about going to law school, my student loans would be paid off by now), do a REALLY thorough self assessment of not just your intellect, but your personality as well. Not saying you have to be a cut throat sociopath extremely aggressive person to be a good lawyer, because there are lots of lawyers out there that truly help people and look out for the public good, but to be the big baller high roller attorney that everyone automatically thinks of when they hear the term "lawyer"..... well, yea, you kind of do have to be that person.

And now, I leave you with an excerpt from a blog post that I wrote back in September 2006 when I was still working at Big Firm..... a little parody (or warning, if you will):

"Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers.
Don't let 'em write briefs or drive luxury trucks.
Let 'em join peace corps or be artists and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love."