September 22, 2009

My Chemical Romance Part Deux: The Spiritual Connection

Yesterday I discussed the scientific and biological reasons why a Friends with Benefits arrangement just doesn't work. We're hard wired for it NOT to work. Well today I'm featuring a guest blog post by WifeofUriah that addresses the issue from a different aspect..... the spiritual aspect.

Science and spirituality..... at first glance they are seemingly at odds. But really they are in perfect harmony with each other. I may seem like a big ole heathen not be the most religious person in the world, but I do believe in a Creator and that there are forces and energies at work that cannot be seen or explained within the realm of human knowledge, but play a definite role in our lives. But whether you can measure or observe it or not, it was all created by The Most High as part of the same design. Hormones and biological processes are only part of the story when it comes to intimate human relations.....I truly believe that there is more. Whether you are religious or not, really stop and think about what WifeofUriah has to say and I guarantee you'll be able to identify with at least one point, but probably more.

Ok, enough editorializing. Check out the FWB quandary from this perspective, and let me know what you think. It's all about idea sharing and diversity of thought here at AID. Enjoy:

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Before reading, you should note that I am a die hard Christian. Now, wait! Before you click the X in the corner of your computer screen, I should tell you that I’m definitely not your stereotypical Christian. I don’t believe in a bunch of rules. I believe that Jesus came and died to free me from religious rituals and rules because He knew I could never keep them. (“I did not come to condemn the world, but to save you from your wrong.” See, John 3:17). I believe that God wants a spiritual connection with me (i.e. a relationship), so, I live my life following Christ and allowing His Spirit to give me access the knowledge and wisdom of God, completely free from weird customs and other man-made rules-o-crap legalistic and religious bondage. In other words I’m definitely spiritual and, I believe everything happens in the spirit realm before manifesting in the natural realm and thus my blog post is coming from that perspective. But don’t get it twisted, whether you believe in God, gods, Christ, or Little Jack Horner, you will be unable to disregard the logic that’s about to smack you in the face. =)

Now, onto the topic at hand….Friends With Benefits. Anesidora did a fantastic post on the subject last night. I couldn’t agree with her more. So often, people try to say sex is just a physical act. But Anesidora definitely made it clear that it is an act with emotional attachment. If you need to re-read her post, please do that here.

I’m gonna take it a step further and say: Sex is an act with spiritual attachment.
“See, understand something my brothers and my sisters, men are, they are projectors…and women are receptive. They - men, they release and women, they get an impartation … You know why there is more pain for women that are single than it is for men? Men, after they project themselves and they get a release, what they’ve lost is strength. So, every time they sleep with a woman and that woman is not their wife, they’re losing strength. But see, every time a man sleeps with us, we’re getting a deposit. Now let me help you with something. If in fact, that the Scripture lets us know, that marriage is not going to the courthouse and standing in front of the altar, [then] our mates are chosen in the spirit realm. And I don’t know about ya’ll, but when I got my divorce, I went to court and the judge said to me, he said, “Was this marriage consummated?” And, you know, me being slow and from the ghetto, I leaned over to my lawyer, I said, “That’s a big word. What does that mean?” He said, “It means ‘Did you have sex with the man’?” And I said, “Well yes, I did.” He said, “Then, it was consummated.” Which means, it doesn’t matter [whether] you got a piece of paper. Once you have had sex with a man, then what happens according to the realm of the spirit, the spirit of that man steps in your body…and now you are attached.”
Juanita Bynum, “No More Sheets” (1998) (start at 9:10-10:01); No More Sheets: Part 3 (0:00 to 1:10)

Yes, Ladies, I’m saying that every time we have sex with a man, we take in his spirit. Every time. Yep, go ahead and just count the number of sexual partners you have had. Yep, all them nuccus are in your spirit. Competing. War-ring. Trying to find their place…in a shared space. And when you take in a man’s spirit, it begins to make you connected to him. You made an FWB arrangement with a football player? You don’t even care for football. Now after having sex, you find yourself all up on him wanting to watch football. Before, you didn’t even think he was cute. You had sex with the lights off and shades pulled! But now? Now you can’t get him off your mind. Before, you didn’t have anything in common, but now? Ya’ll are starting to look alike, talk alike, smell alike… Spiritual Attachment.

Yes, Men, I’m saying that every time you have sex with a woman, you’re giving her your spirit. You’re losing a piece of yourself to her, losing a piece of your strength to her. And since she’s not your wife, (i.e. no real and absolute investment in this woman) she is completely unable to invest back into you to give you that piece of yourself back. Don’t believe me? Ever met a man whore? Ever picked up his energy and think, “Sheesh! What’s wrong with that guy?” Well, I’ll tell you. He’s depleted. It’s an energy of depletion. A spirit of not being made whole. He has given himself away to too many women without any way of being made whole again. Unfortunately, he keeps sleeping around in an effort to feel whole, not realizing he’s making matters worse…. Spiritual Depletion.

Your spirit is the very essence and core of your being. It is the way you are connected to God and are sensitive to the spirit realm. Because of this, it is imperative that you keep your spirit clean, whole, free of negativity and evil, and definitely free of any bondage. But when we enter into FWB arrangements, we end up making spiritual connections with people (1) we never wanted a connection with in the first place and (2) our spirit is being held captive/inhabited by that other person’s spirit.

So, while the FWB arrangement sounds great in theory, I’m telling you that no matter what you say or think, no matter how you try to frame it, FWB arrangements have serious consequences because it makes the participants “one in the spirit”, automatically intertwined with the spirit of another. You may not see it or feel it right away, but like I said – it happens in the spirit realm first.

That’s why:
  1. parents, when your children become sexually active, you can sense a change in their spirit when they walk past you.
  2. co-workers, when two co-workers start having sex, you’ll notice a shift in the atmosphere and can sense it when you walk past their cubicles.
  3. spouses, when your spouse dips out and cheats, you can sense it when they try to touch you.
It’s all because your spirit has picked up on the latest happenings in the spirit realm…

The most unfortunate part about it is that once the spiritual attachment takes place, you cant just say “Hey, I don’t wanna be intertwined with this person anymore” and then it be undone. No, no, no. If it were that easy, then divorce court would immediately sever all bonds between two previously married persons. No, no, my friends – in order to break the spiritual bond – you have to purge that person out of your spirit. A spiritual cleansing.

And…it can take weeks, months, or years.

Now, I can hear some of ya’ll saying: "naw, I’ll be alright." Really? Until you are delivered from the spiritual consequences, you will never be satisfied in a relationship. Ladies, you can try to move on to a new man, but you’ll never be satisfied. Why? Because the new man’s spirit is competing with the spirit of the other men still in there. In your mind and spirit, you will be trying to make him like all the other men in there. That’s why you’re telling the new man: hold me like this, spank me like this, lift me like this, kiss it like this….you’re trying to make the new man do what Johnny did best, what Tyrone did best, what Brian did best, and what Ray Ray did best. Another example: have you ever been out somewhere and saw an old fling and something jump inside your stomach? Perhaps you get a flashback? Yep, that’s cuz you may have said it was over, but he’s still inside of your spirit and that spirit sensed he was around. YOU HAVE TO PURGE HIM OUT OF THERE!

Men, this goes for you, too. You have to purge yourself of the women you’ve slept with, with the goal of being made whole, or restored. You can’t be all that you can be for “The One” if you’re still weakened by the deposits of pieces of your spirit in Tanisha, Ericka, Joy, and Lisa. Not to mention, you have to deal with the consequences of those women still being attached to you…So men, RECLAIM YOUR SPIRIT and BEGIN THE PROCESS OF RESTORATION!

Now, I practice what I preach. I have been celibate for one year and one month (trust me, I’m not bragging, okay?) It’s not to satisfy a religious rule, per se. It is because I am trying to prepare my spirit for “The One”. So many of us women want to be married/re-married, but as Bynum states in her message, we can’t get married because with all those men in our spirit, we can’t truly be labeled as “single.” I spend time before God and walking and talking with Him so that He may deliver me from the attachment to every man I have slept with, whether I slept with him one time, or one-hundred times. I’m proud to say I’m almost done. I’ve only got two more men to go. And whenever I’m tempted to do another FWB arrangement, I simply can’t justify it being worth the time of stalking, feeling confused, getting pissed off, and wanting to be violent purging.

Peace and Blessings,
TheWifeofUriah

http://www.wifeofuriah.blogspot.com

1 comments:

cordell said...

Wonderful blog & good post.awaiting for more new post. Keep Blogging!

Cordell and Cordell

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