Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

September 25, 2008

Unconventional bonding (ANTM style)

One of my (many) struggles as a divorced parent is finding ways to maintain a good relationship with my 14 year old son. As part of our custody "arrangement" (I can't even call it an agreement, because that would imply that The Ex and I are able to "agree", as in come to a consensus on the same point, which is next to impossible) my son stays with his dad because he his girlfriend lives closer to Son's high school and can get him back and forth to school easier (private school = no bus). Added to this is the fact that my son is at an age where it's hard for parents to connect with their kids anyway. Added further to this is the fact that I am only 15.7 years older than my son so I'm not as life battle tested as most parents with kids my age (and I'm admittedly a little weird). Thus, I have to make a constant conscious effort to try and maintain a connection with my son through these critical years.

So last night, how did I go about bonding with my son?? America's Next Top Model.

Yes, seems like an odd thing to bond with a high school freshman boy over, but just to clarify, I'm not putting Son on blast here..... we used to watch the show together and he would talk about it with the girls at school because he is so inherently pimptastic that he realized YOUNG that this was a way to command the girls' attention by being able to connect with them on their level and it showed that he was so uber confident with his masculinity that he could discuss such things and not think anything of it. My son's game is tighter than most grown men I come across..... it's scary.

Anyway, I called him at the end of the show and made him guess which contestant was really a man. Yes, Cycle 11 features a transgendered contestant.

(Who's the man??)

So we sat on the phone for about 15 minutes watching the elimination, laughing and joking as he squealed at me "Thanks mom for making me feel gay!" when he was finally able to figure out which one it was (he also said that now he had something to talk about at school in the morning). It wasn't a long, deep conversation where I stressed to him how much I love him and will always love him and I miss him and all that stuff. It was just something lighthearted that we once had in common that I seized upon to use to keep a foothold in his life and not just be an every-other-weekend mom. And I may not be the most conventional mother in the world, but I work with what I've got and I think my kids love and appreciate me anyway.

Oh, and in case you're not an ANTM fan (which I myself have kind of fallen off the past few cycles), here's the transgendered chick:

Coulda fooled me forever and ever with this one.....

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Your Friendly Neighborhood Fly Guy said...

Thats cool. Im glad that you found ur in with ur son.

The TS model definitely would have fooled me on the street. Luckily, Im not a fan of skinny girls like that tho.

September 25, 2008 at 6:36 PM  
Anonymous Kela said...

That is too cute! I know what you mean about finding those bonding moments with your son. Mine is 11 and it is getting harder and harder to connect with him. We also started watching ANTM cycle 11 in order to guess which one was the man. I even got my husband watching, too!

I find it admirable that you are so honest with your posts. As a reader and a writer, I can certainly appreciate that. I'm admittedly a little weird as well, but I embrace it.

September 25, 2008 at 8:57 PM  
Anonymous J. McFly said...

First, thats wassup that you understand your son to that level. That's a great thing.

And I wud have never guessed that about the chick dude, ummmm whatever.

September 26, 2008 at 1:14 PM  
Anonymous Manic Temptress said...

I commend you for working so hard to connect with your son. It's not always an easy task, I struggle as my girls get older.

I also commend you for realizing that it's not always in the "best interests" of the child to live with the mom. Sometimes it's best to live with dad.

You're a great mom!

September 29, 2008 at 9:33 AM  

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Adventures in Divorce: Unconventional bonding (ANTM style)

Unconventional bonding (ANTM style)

One of my (many) struggles as a divorced parent is finding ways to maintain a good relationship with my 14 year old son. As part of our custody "arrangement" (I can't even call it an agreement, because that would imply that The Ex and I are able to "agree", as in come to a consensus on the same point, which is next to impossible) my son stays with his dad because he his girlfriend lives closer to Son's high school and can get him back and forth to school easier (private school = no bus). Added to this is the fact that my son is at an age where it's hard for parents to connect with their kids anyway. Added further to this is the fact that I am only 15.7 years older than my son so I'm not as life battle tested as most parents with kids my age (and I'm admittedly a little weird). Thus, I have to make a constant conscious effort to try and maintain a connection with my son through these critical years.

So last night, how did I go about bonding with my son?? America's Next Top Model.

Yes, seems like an odd thing to bond with a high school freshman boy over, but just to clarify, I'm not putting Son on blast here..... we used to watch the show together and he would talk about it with the girls at school because he is so inherently pimptastic that he realized YOUNG that this was a way to command the girls' attention by being able to connect with them on their level and it showed that he was so uber confident with his masculinity that he could discuss such things and not think anything of it. My son's game is tighter than most grown men I come across..... it's scary.

Anyway, I called him at the end of the show and made him guess which contestant was really a man. Yes, Cycle 11 features a transgendered contestant.

(Who's the man??)

So we sat on the phone for about 15 minutes watching the elimination, laughing and joking as he squealed at me "Thanks mom for making me feel gay!" when he was finally able to figure out which one it was (he also said that now he had something to talk about at school in the morning). It wasn't a long, deep conversation where I stressed to him how much I love him and will always love him and I miss him and all that stuff. It was just something lighthearted that we once had in common that I seized upon to use to keep a foothold in his life and not just be an every-other-weekend mom. And I may not be the most conventional mother in the world, but I work with what I've got and I think my kids love and appreciate me anyway.

Oh, and in case you're not an ANTM fan (which I myself have kind of fallen off the past few cycles), here's the transgendered chick:

Coulda fooled me forever and ever with this one.....

Labels: ,