Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

September 23, 2008

Close Encounters

Yesterday afternoon was quite the milestone for me in my new single/divorcee life.... it was the day where old met new, where The Ex met the New Boo. *cue dramatical music* Now mind you, I've been in the presence of The Ex's new woman countless times, even had her daughter spend the night at my place with my daughter one weekend, but The Ex had made it clear that he wasn't prepared to meet anyone I was dating (despite the fact that he's moved in with another woman and has my children over there living in her home). And boy, he sure wasn't lying....

The Scene: Son's freshman football game. They were actually playing a team close to where I live, so I thought I would invite New Boo to come out to the game to see my baby do his thang on the football field (cuz I'm a proud mommy and want everyone to see):

(See? That's my baby running)

So I figured he could come by after work. I knew The Ex was going to be there, but what I didn't factor in was that, since it was so close to "home" a whole slew of other people were going to be there, including my mother, The Ex's mother, and our old neighbor who The Ex is BFFs with. I know that Meeting The Parents is usually a big huge deal, but nothing in my family is ever a big huge deal, so whatever. New Boo meets Mom, standard pleasantries and convo exchanged, all that good stuff. Then The Ex comes walking up the bleachers and stops to introduce himself to New Boo (who was looking *extra* clean in a chocolate brown suit straight from the J-O-B....mmmmm)......

Ex: Hi, I'm [The Ex].... nice to meet you.
(grips up New Boo entirely way too tight, as if trying to prove a point which was NOT taken.... he also uses his "man voice" which is not his normal tone, kind of like when my son talks to a girl on the phone)

New Boo: I'm ________________.

Ex: [repeats name incorrectly several times, stutters]

New Boo: [enunciates name correctly]

Ex: [spells out name] I want to make sure I got that right.

Me: *gives The Ex the www.WTF.com look*

Ex: I just like to know whose around my children.
(exits to top of bleachers)

The encounter was quite ridiculous and a whole lot of bitchassed extra..... with his wannabe "I got my eye on you" attitude, like he was going to do some extensive background search on him or have him tailed in an unmarked white utility van or something. He probably won't even remember his name after that bumbling exchange. I was PISSED, but I did a few "woo-sahs" and watched the rest of the game. The Ex was oddly quiet the entire game..... usually he's up there hollering like a fool at our Son (to the point where other parents look at him crazy and start mumbling to each other about feeling sorry for whoever's kid that is) and I didn't hear a peep. Sometime during the 4th quarter, The Ex gets up and leaves to the other side of the stadium, leaving his BFF AND his momma sitting in the stands alone. I had to stop him to give him Son's notebook that he'd left at my place and it took me a few tries to get him to understand what I was giving him and that he needed to give it to Son. The ninja was quite obviously shook.

On the way home I get an "I need to talk to you" phone call from The Ex:

Ex: Look, I need to talk to you about something serious. When I introduced the kids to the person I was dating I told you about it, and I wish you would give me the same courtesy.

Me: Um, I did.

Ex: No you didn't.

Me: Yes I did, a long time ago I told you the kids met __________.
(in fact, we'd had a convo several weeks earlier discussing trading weekends and whether to just change up the schedule and make a permanent change, at which time I mentioned that New Boo and I have our kids on alternating weekends and it would've been nice to be on the same schedule, but not a big deal..... the man obviously has such his own agenda going on in his head that he doesn't listen. I also think he's just fugged up from the divorce and his brain hasn't worked right since.)

Ex: He met [Son] and [Daughter]?

Me: Yes, briefly.
(we weren't really spending a whole lot of time around each other's kids because I like to keep my personal life and my "mommy" life separate, plus that's what the Children Cope with Divorce class recommended, which I paid attention to and The Ex obviously DIDN'T.)

Ex: What did [Son] say??

Me: He just mean mugged him like he mean mugs everyone.*
(*this is the only guy I've dated that my son has met, but he's met other friends of mine and always mean mugs anyone whom he suspects may have an interest in his mother... that's just the nature of a teenage son)

Ex: Well I knew you said you were seeing your neighbor, but you didn't tell me....

Me: *cuts Ex off* Look, you wouldn't even tell me where my kids were living when you had them living up in some other woman's house and you wouldn't tell me her full name, so you can shut up with all that. Also, wash [Son's] uniform.... he was filthy out there and looked terrible. *CLICK*

GTFOHWTBS!!! This man has obviously moved on, playing house with another woman, assuming the whole step-daddy role taking her daughter everywhere, telling me he's gonna get remarried in the next 6 months, so why all this extra when it comes to me taking things one step at a time?? The answer is obvious, but the stupidity and the bitchassedness never cease to amaze me. I'm anticipating the rest of the fall out from this, and I'm just WAITING to hit him with the below the belt blow when he says something crazy. *rubs hands like Mr. Burns*

(I just wonder how The Ex explained his jacked up mood when he got home..... wish I could've been a fly on the wall for that one. She's an idiot if she consoled him over that one and obviously will put up with anything just to have a man..... I'd be damned if my dude comes home fugged up in the head over some other chick and who she's seeing now.)

Ah well.... just another Adventure in Divorce I guess. At least it gave something for me and New Boo to laugh about.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Wooo sticky situation...I honestly dont have any experience in this type of situaton but your ex-husband seems a bit immature. I havent read this blog from beginning to end but living with a woman so shortly after your divorce and not providing an address or full name for the woman that your children would be staying with? Not a good look at all.....she's obviously a rebound chick....I hope your children are adjusting well

September 23, 2008 at 3:27 PM  
Anonymous Kela said...

Girl, I can TOTALLY relate. The ex did the same exact thing to me when we broke up. He had also already moved on by marrying a woman that he'd known for 3 months. I, on the other hand, kept my mommy life separate from my personal life until I met the right man. When the ex met my new man (now my husband) he was livid! He even took me to court about it (wasted my damn money). His new wife was right by his side the entire time. After 7 years he still isn't quite comfortable seeing my husband and I together. And, he's admitted that he wishes he could make our son happy the way my husband does.

My husband's ex-wife did the same thing. It was all good when she moved on (divorce wasn't even final before she was shacked up with another). But, when my husband moved on, with me, 3 years after them, she was PISSED (and still is).

I certainly hope it doesn't take as long for your ex as it did for ours to MOVE ON!

September 24, 2008 at 8:41 AM  
Anonymous DatNupe said...

Laughin and smilin at da same time! Funny!

September 24, 2008 at 9:16 AM  

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Adventures in Divorce: Close Encounters

Close Encounters

Yesterday afternoon was quite the milestone for me in my new single/divorcee life.... it was the day where old met new, where The Ex met the New Boo. *cue dramatical music* Now mind you, I've been in the presence of The Ex's new woman countless times, even had her daughter spend the night at my place with my daughter one weekend, but The Ex had made it clear that he wasn't prepared to meet anyone I was dating (despite the fact that he's moved in with another woman and has my children over there living in her home). And boy, he sure wasn't lying....

The Scene: Son's freshman football game. They were actually playing a team close to where I live, so I thought I would invite New Boo to come out to the game to see my baby do his thang on the football field (cuz I'm a proud mommy and want everyone to see):

(See? That's my baby running)

So I figured he could come by after work. I knew The Ex was going to be there, but what I didn't factor in was that, since it was so close to "home" a whole slew of other people were going to be there, including my mother, The Ex's mother, and our old neighbor who The Ex is BFFs with. I know that Meeting The Parents is usually a big huge deal, but nothing in my family is ever a big huge deal, so whatever. New Boo meets Mom, standard pleasantries and convo exchanged, all that good stuff. Then The Ex comes walking up the bleachers and stops to introduce himself to New Boo (who was looking *extra* clean in a chocolate brown suit straight from the J-O-B....mmmmm)......

Ex: Hi, I'm [The Ex].... nice to meet you.
(grips up New Boo entirely way too tight, as if trying to prove a point which was NOT taken.... he also uses his "man voice" which is not his normal tone, kind of like when my son talks to a girl on the phone)

New Boo: I'm ________________.

Ex: [repeats name incorrectly several times, stutters]

New Boo: [enunciates name correctly]

Ex: [spells out name] I want to make sure I got that right.

Me: *gives The Ex the www.WTF.com look*

Ex: I just like to know whose around my children.
(exits to top of bleachers)

The encounter was quite ridiculous and a whole lot of bitchassed extra..... with his wannabe "I got my eye on you" attitude, like he was going to do some extensive background search on him or have him tailed in an unmarked white utility van or something. He probably won't even remember his name after that bumbling exchange. I was PISSED, but I did a few "woo-sahs" and watched the rest of the game. The Ex was oddly quiet the entire game..... usually he's up there hollering like a fool at our Son (to the point where other parents look at him crazy and start mumbling to each other about feeling sorry for whoever's kid that is) and I didn't hear a peep. Sometime during the 4th quarter, The Ex gets up and leaves to the other side of the stadium, leaving his BFF AND his momma sitting in the stands alone. I had to stop him to give him Son's notebook that he'd left at my place and it took me a few tries to get him to understand what I was giving him and that he needed to give it to Son. The ninja was quite obviously shook.

On the way home I get an "I need to talk to you" phone call from The Ex:

Ex: Look, I need to talk to you about something serious. When I introduced the kids to the person I was dating I told you about it, and I wish you would give me the same courtesy.

Me: Um, I did.

Ex: No you didn't.

Me: Yes I did, a long time ago I told you the kids met __________.
(in fact, we'd had a convo several weeks earlier discussing trading weekends and whether to just change up the schedule and make a permanent change, at which time I mentioned that New Boo and I have our kids on alternating weekends and it would've been nice to be on the same schedule, but not a big deal..... the man obviously has such his own agenda going on in his head that he doesn't listen. I also think he's just fugged up from the divorce and his brain hasn't worked right since.)

Ex: He met [Son] and [Daughter]?

Me: Yes, briefly.
(we weren't really spending a whole lot of time around each other's kids because I like to keep my personal life and my "mommy" life separate, plus that's what the Children Cope with Divorce class recommended, which I paid attention to and The Ex obviously DIDN'T.)

Ex: What did [Son] say??

Me: He just mean mugged him like he mean mugs everyone.*
(*this is the only guy I've dated that my son has met, but he's met other friends of mine and always mean mugs anyone whom he suspects may have an interest in his mother... that's just the nature of a teenage son)

Ex: Well I knew you said you were seeing your neighbor, but you didn't tell me....

Me: *cuts Ex off* Look, you wouldn't even tell me where my kids were living when you had them living up in some other woman's house and you wouldn't tell me her full name, so you can shut up with all that. Also, wash [Son's] uniform.... he was filthy out there and looked terrible. *CLICK*

GTFOHWTBS!!! This man has obviously moved on, playing house with another woman, assuming the whole step-daddy role taking her daughter everywhere, telling me he's gonna get remarried in the next 6 months, so why all this extra when it comes to me taking things one step at a time?? The answer is obvious, but the stupidity and the bitchassedness never cease to amaze me. I'm anticipating the rest of the fall out from this, and I'm just WAITING to hit him with the below the belt blow when he says something crazy. *rubs hands like Mr. Burns*

(I just wonder how The Ex explained his jacked up mood when he got home..... wish I could've been a fly on the wall for that one. She's an idiot if she consoled him over that one and obviously will put up with anything just to have a man..... I'd be damned if my dude comes home fugged up in the head over some other chick and who she's seeing now.)

Ah well.... just another Adventure in Divorce I guess. At least it gave something for me and New Boo to laugh about.

Labels: , , ,