GTFOHWTBS!

One surefire way to piss me off and send me into belligerent mode is to insult my intelligence. Do not patronize me. Do not try to outsmart me. Do not try to lawyer me. This past weekend, I felt like my intelligence was blatantly insulted in the following text exchange:

(Background: This guy is a friend of a friend, and we're cool with each other. I see him out every so often, but we've never went on any dates or had any "dealings" because as far as I knew, he had a girlfriend somewhere out of state. Never gave him any indication that I wanted to be anything more than friends with him. I invited him (and about 47 other people) out to see my favorite local funk band, Blackberry Jam, perform at Tip Top Tavern on Friday night (I am officially their #1 fan... I know all their songs, I have a "vintage" t-shirt that nobody else has, I am a BBJ freak), which he'd been to see before and loves, too. We'd talked about Friday's show and I figured I'd see him out there, but I went to the show solo.)

Him (11:56pm): Okay i am going to see you out.

Me (12:00am): Where? I'm at Tip Top now.

Him (12:01am): Southport....*
*Southport is the area I live in.

Me (12:02am): Southport is not "out".

Him (12:03am): So Southport is in...

Me (12:06am): Yes, and I am out....

Him (12:09am): Okay cool when you are going in i am coming in...

Me (12:15am): Oh really? Why don't you just come out.*
*I could have clicked at this point because that seemed quite forward, but I was feeling good so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and let it slide.

Him (12:16am): I am out...

Me (12:18am): Where??

Him (12:20am): Downtown

Me (12:21am): There's like 50-leven places U could B downtown, so that tells me nothing. U should be @Tip Top.*
*[To see Blackberry Jam perform] This is where my impatience starts to set in, and the first belligerent stirrings begin......

Him (1:17am): Let's change... 10th Street.

Me (1:24am): Huh?? WTF is on 10th St??*
*It then dawned on me that he LIVES on 10th street.... I'd been out there before for a get together with my friend.

Him (1:25am): WTF is on southport...

Me (1:26am): Um, Meijer, Shell, Target, Kohls, Chick-fil-A*..... where you at now?
*Sarcasm setting in....

Him (1:28am): Oh... I am at Blu but i didn't drive so i can't make it to southport.* So i said change of venue... 10th street.

*At what point did I ever INVITE him to Southport???

Me (1:29am): I may B @Blu later if U got my cover. Its 2 late 2 ask [DJ] Limelight.

Him (1:37am): I told you i didn't drive and I think my ride is about to leave... i think.

Me (1:39am): I'm enjoyin this Blackberry Jam right now.

Him (1:44am): Okay well.... 10th street it is.*

*WTF?? When did I ever agree to that???

Me (1:46am): Huh??? I dunno bout that. I think they're done.

Him (2:00am): Okay so where you going?

Me (2:01am): I think I'm goin home.

Him (2:06am): You think...

Me (2:07am): Ok, I knows. The show's over. Time 2 go.

Him (2:08am): Can you take me home?

Me (2:13am): No I can't take U home! Only nucca I go outta my way 2 take home is [Son] unless I'm getting somethin out of it, & that is not the case hurr...*
*Full fledged belligerency triggered here.

Him (2:15am): Not you taking me to your home but to my home. But if u need something if just say what u need?

Me (2:16am): That's way the fuck outta my way, dude.*
*Yea, I'm getting pissed, cuz the f-word is making its way into texts to someone I rarely talk to.....

Him (2:18am): Okay.... who said you had to go home?

Me (2:20am): I did. Look, I know U tryin 2 negotiate some ass, so let's cut all the verbal gymnastics. I'm tired, I'm drunk, I'm goin home.

Him (2:24am): [Anesidora] look... I am the kind of dude that will say i am horny and what's up so i don't play games. If u can good if not i will wait for my boys to go...*
*Note that it's 2:24am.... club closes at 3, he could've easily waited another 36 minutes for his boys to attempt to get those last few numbers.

Me (2:25am): No, I can't.

Him (2:27am): Okay... That's all. U were going home so i thoght* u could scoop me. No big deal...!

*Drunk ass texts......

Me (2:30am): If U were on my way it wouldn't B a big deal. But the westside is far as fuck from where I stay.

Him (2:31am): Do i need to be on my way?*
*WTF????

Me (2:33am): On your way where?

Him (2:34am): On ur way?

Me (2:34am): NO. It ain't goin down.

Him (2:35am): Well you said it... We will talk later.

Me (2:35am): Yup.*
*Sent as I'm walking into Mr. $10 in Grateful Deads' room.....

And here's the kicker:

Him (2:38am): But make it clear i am not trying to make sexual passages at you.

(I didn't even respond to that BS.)

************

Did I miss something here?? Was I really expected to believe that this was NOT an attempt to get some ass from me??? As the saying goes, ain't nothing open that late but legs (and Denny's, but he sure didn't mention getting me any hash browns).

Guys, if I've said this before, I've said it a thousand times..... We. Are. Not. Stupid. At least women like me aren't. Unfortunately, Game often is very stupid. You cannot take an exchange like this and then attempt to clean it up with a flimsy "That's not what I meant/How dare you make such assumptions"-type disclaimer (this is not the first guy who has attempted to do this). I understand that verbal gymnastics are somewhat necessary.... it's part of the dance that we call dating. It would have been even more ridiculous if he HAD came right out and said to me "I'm horny and what's up," particularly considering this guy has never even gotten so much as a peck on the cheek from me. But come ON..... was I really expected to fall for that "I just want to come over and hang out with you drunk at 3am no hanky panky" BS?? Getthefuckouttaherewiththatbullshit.