Emotional Baggage Sundays - "Caution"

Time to get it out.....It's been niceYesLaughing timesEarly morning loveWalksMeaningful kissingBut I've been hurt beforeThe kind that can change a lifeThe kind that makes a body waryAnd I must say that I am taking special careNot to care so hardWhile I am mostly open to love youI prepare to let you goSo I will ask upfrontBefore my stomach is knottedCan I take my shoes off now?Can I put them next to yours in the upstairs closet?Can I relax my soles?Hang up my winter coat?Unpack my bag for more than the night?BecauseI like youI really like you~"Caution"...

Unconventional bonding (ANTM style)

One of my (many) struggles as a divorced parent is finding ways to maintain a good relationship with my 14 year old son. As part of our custody "arrangement" (I can't even call it an agreement, because that would imply that The Ex and I are able to "agree", as in come to a consensus on the same point, which is next to impossible) my son stays with his dad because he his girlfriend lives closer to Son's high school and can get him back and forth to school easier (private school = no bus). Added to this is the fact that my son is at an age where...

You Snooze, You Lose (more advice from Aesop)

The Tortoise and the HareA Hare was one day making fun of a Tortoise for being so slow upon his feet. "Wait a bit," said the Tortoise; "I'll run a race with you, and I'll wager that I win.""Oh, well," replied the Hare, who was much amused at the idea, "let's try and see"; and it was soon agreed that the fox should set a course for them, and be the judge. When the time came both started off together, but the Hare was soon so far ahead that he thought he might as well have a rest: so down he lay and fell fast asleep. Meanwhile the Tortoise kept plodding...

Close Encounters

Yesterday afternoon was quite the milestone for me in my new single/divorcee life.... it was the day where old met new, where The Ex met the New Boo. *cue dramatical music* Now mind you, I've been in the presence of The Ex's new woman countless times, even had her daughter spend the night at my place with my daughter one weekend, but The Ex had made it clear that he wasn't prepared to meet anyone I was dating (despite the fact that he's moved in with another woman and has my children over there living in her home). And boy, he sure wasn't lying....The...

Sometimes others say it best

I just started reading a new book, "The Corrections" by Jonathan Franzen. I was not even 2 pages into the book when I had to stop and read this paragraph twice because it so beautifully and accurately describes how my mood has felt over these past several months:Ringing throughout the house was an alarm bell that no one but Alfred and Enid could hear directly. It was the alarm bell of anxiety. It was like one of those big cast-iron dishes with an electric clapper that send schoolchildren into the street in fire drills. By now it had been ringing...

Sock Dreams

Main Entry: fe·tishFunction: nounEtymology: French & Portuguese; French fétiche, from Portuguese feitiço, from feitiço artificial, false, from Latin facticius factitious 1. an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession 2. an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.************I have, in the truest sense of the word, a hosiery fetish. I. Love....

3 Month Rule

This is a repost from my friend Teej (TJ Armour), a dear friend and fellow blogger. You can check him out very Friday at the InCHICity Lifestyle Blog (you can also find a link in my blogroll) and also on his Blogger blog: It's How I Feel... You Don't Have to Necessarily Like It. Anyway, I was really feeling this post and wanted to share it with you, loved ones:*************You know how in the movie 'Love Jones' when Nina and Darius hit it off, then Nina's ex-fianceé, Marvin tries to come back in the picture? Marvin invites Nina to NY to see if there is truly anything left, and b/c she wanted...

Emotional Baggage Sundays, Part Deux - Waiting.....

Sometimes I feel the need to backtrack and explain some of my cryptic, ambiguous posts (usually appearing on Emotional Baggage Sundays) so that folk don't get the wrong idea about who or what I'm talking about, which is really the whole point of being ambiguous......Anyway, "All I Gotta Do" is a poem about patience and waiting. This poem spoke to me this week for a number of reasons, not just one particular situation going on in my life right now ("baggage" usually doesn't just contain one thing). Generally though, I'm just waiting on things to change, to get better. I'm waiting on a break...

Emotional Baggage Sundays - "All I Gotta Do"

Once again it's on......all i gotta dois sit and waitsit and waitand it's gonna findmeall i gotta dois sit and waitif i can learn howwhat i need to dois sit and waitcause i'm a woman sit and waitwhat i gotta dois sit and waitcause i'm a woman it'll find meyou get yoursand i'll get mineif i learnto sit and waityou got yoursi want mineand i'm gonna get itcause i gotta get itcause i need to get it if i learn howthought about callingfor it on the phoneasked for a deliverybut they didn't have itthought about goingto the store to get itwalked to the cornerbut they didn't have itcalled your namein my...

Supportive parenting (a RANT)

(WARNING: This is a pure, unadulterated rant. I'm not responsible for my language.....)This evening is the Cathedral vs. Bishop Chatard varsity football game. Although it's not as sensational as the Cathedral vs. Carmel game that was aired on ESPN a few weeks ago, Chatard is still their arch rival so this is a big game for us. And although my Son is a freshman and is not on the varsity team (yet), I still am proud that he's a Fighting Irish, and whenever I'm proud of something or someone I tend to go all out. I love watching football when I have a personal interest in the players, whether...

Vintage Hateration

Vintage Hateration - the fox and the grapesAesop's Fable: The Fox and the GrapesOne hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch."Just the thing to quench my thirst," said he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch.Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away...

"I play my (fr)enemies like a game of chess....."

Frenemy.1. A person who does not treat a friend as friend but more like a enemy.2. A "friend" who really doesn't like you, nor you like she, yet you are drawn together by some sick dramatic bond.3. An enemy disguised as a friend."What do you think about frenemies?""I say, keep your friends close, and your frenemies closer" During the course of my separation and divorce, I've discovered that many of my so-called friends are not friends at all, but rather frenemies. These are the individuals who are often the most concerned, the most sympathetic, the most willing to be that shoulder to cry on....

"Make you wanna lick the (w)rapperrrrrrr......"

(*WARNING: Come back to this post if you are at work, around children, or are just a prude)I just had to post this gem. Alexyss Tylor is a certified nut, but she speaks Truth:(back in my younger days, I used to keep a blowpop on me at all times. I know.... just nasty. LOL! But hey, just because you're married doesn't mean you can't be a freak..... in fact, you SHOULD be. Great way to build excitement and anticipation when you're out together. That advice is free, BTW.)And if you haven't seen her other videos, I HIGHLY recommend them..... I guarantee you will be crying with laughter.(thanks...

Introducing.... Twitter!

I have a tendency to be incredibly random. I used to get daily randomness out of my system by means of texting my 2 BFFs, but when 1 moved to London we couldn't text our random thoughts to each other anymore. I also maintain an unrelated MySpace blog that I would use to deposit my random thoughts of the day (I'd just keep an e-mail window open all day at work and when weird shit would come to me, I'd write it down), kind of like a pensieve from Harry Potter. It is just a way to get the randomness out of my head so it doesn't get cluttered in there. However, since I don't sit at a desk all...

The C Word

I was reading a post on Finding My Way, another blog about divorce (I discovered she has a link to my site on her blog..... thank you, thank you). Something interesting she had to say:"When I discovered in May 2005 that my spouse had cheated on me, I didn't respond like most wives would have. I felt immense relief that it was over. Adultery was not acceptable and therefore I could leave this marriage for what I considered a good reason. Not "we just don't get along" (although true) or "we just don't love each other anymore" (partly true but I don't think he ever really loved me). I could feel...

GTFOHWTBS!

One surefire way to piss me off and send me into belligerent mode is to insult my intelligence. Do not patronize me. Do not try to outsmart me. Do not try to lawyer me. This past weekend, I felt like my intelligence was blatantly insulted in the following text exchange: (Background: This guy is a friend of a friend, and we're cool with each other. I see him out every so often, but we've never went on any dates or had any "dealings" because as far as I knew, he had a girlfriend somewhere out of state. Never gave him any indication that I wanted to be anything more than friends with him....

I made the SBM Thursday Feature!!!

Today one of my posts was featured on the Thursday Feature on one of my most favorite blogs, Single Black Male!! I's so excited. Even if you've already read this one, check out his commentary on it and the COMMENTS! Boy are there some comments!! (364 when I last checked)So, here you go.......Thursday's Feature: Them thirsty ninjas......*does little happy dan...

"You are NOT the father!"

I saw something in the grocery store today that made me stop dead in my tracks:Woah. Wow. Err..... huh. For $150, in 3-5 days you can get the answer to the question that thousands of fools get up and air their dirty laundry on Maury for. No free trip to NYC, but hey.... I'd say that's a small sacrifice for your dignity.(and notice it's displayed right next to a box of condoms. Oh the irony.)This got me thinking about an article I recently read in Playboy reviewing the book "I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage" by Susan Squire. Here's...

Smiling behind the clouds

I admit..... I am a recovering pessimist:Main Entry: pessimist Part of Speech: noun Definition: A prophet of misfortune or disaster. Synonyms: Cassandra, doomsayer, worrywartSee?? It's right there. I really can't help it.And often I use my blogs as an outlet for my frustrations, which I realize makes me seem like an overly negative and downright miserable person. Not so. Well, not so much anymore (remember, I said "recovering"). The transformation in my way of thinking about the world has been RADICAL over the past year and a half. This becomes extremely apparent now when I talk with...

Only Sometimes......

Sometimes I wish......that I could've been a better actressand went through the motionsto convinced myself to love him...