Emotional Baggage Sundays: The Ex-Factor

As my body struggles to recover from processing last nights' libations, my mind starts creeping off into dark and disused corners, nosing around where it doesn't belong.... yes, it starts poking around in the Emotional Baggage.Let me pause and explain what Emotional Baggage means to me. Emotional Baggage is the stuff I pack up and store away in the attic of my brain. It's like the old toys you don't play with anymore that sit in your mom's basement, packed up, abandoned and forgotten (for the most part). I don't carry around my Emotional Baggage.... I listened to Erykah when she told me to...

Eartha Kitt: The Ultimate Sex Kitten

Another one of my idols, Eartha Kitt, has died at the age of 81 on Christmas Day. Since I did a tribute post to the late great Bettie Page, I would be remiss if I didn't do one about the quintessential sex-kitten as well.To me, Eartha wasn't one of those traditionally "beautiful" women, but it was all about the pure, raw, organic sex appeal that she put forth. How many guys out there really weren't mad at Eddie Murphy in Boomerang when he responded to the calls of "Maaaarcus, daaaahhhling....."?Eartha was a woman who just oozed sex appeal........

Predictions of Change: Part Deux

There been times that I thought I couldn't last for longBut now I think I'm able to carry onIt's been a long, a long time comingBut I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will.~Sam Cooke, "A Change is Gonna Come"I quoted this song lyric in a blog post I wrote back on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 in my old MySpace blog (and later republished on AID under "Predictions of Change (kind of eerie)") no less than 3 DAYS before the excrement hit the air conditioning and it was curtains for my marriage. I go back and read that and it kind of creeps me out.....Intuition is a powerful, powerful thing, loved...

The Notorious Bettie Page

Pin-up legend Bettie Page died today at the age of 85.... I'm so sad. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE BETTIE PAGE!!! She's my idol. My fetish for hosiery, garters, corsets, bondage, spanking, and anything pin-up comes directly from this woman.(check out those cuban heel back seam thigh high stockings....oooooooooh, makes me feel all tingly)The first time I saw a picture of Bettie Page I had to have been 12 or 13.... it was in a store that's no longer around, Artsy Phartzy, and there was a Bettie Page t-shirt displayed on the wall. I didn't...

In Her Shoes

So I had my appointment with my "new" loctician (who BTW I really liked and did a great job cutting my hair.... got about 3-4" lopped off but I think it's still plenty long.... seems to be more of a surprise to other folks more than it is to me, maybe because I rarely saw the back of my own head......). On my way to my appointment, I had a conversation with a friend of mine (my personal Zen Master of sorts) who was basically telling me that I need to suck it up, take the L, and let the whole loctician situation go. *deep heavy sigh* I asked for his reaction to my blog post from yesterday, and...

Please, Karma, not my hair.....

If there is one lesson I have learned in the last year and a half of my adventures in divorce, it is this: Karma is a hellafide bitch. And just when you think she's done with you, here she comes from around the corner again with her rusty fork to jab you in the arse a few more times. Karma doesn't just come at you in the direct, obvious forms.... oh no, she's much craftier than that. Like the obvious consequence of my... uh.... indiscretions wasn't just my dramatical divorce, my emotional break down, and the major upheaval of my life in general. Oh no.... she keeps coming at me in new and...

My son doesn't have WHAT???

I am so livid right now.... I just talked to Son, and my mommy sense was telling me something was wrong. Turns out he has been sleeping on the FLOOR at The Ex's "girl"friend's house for the past several MONTHS!!! WTF??? This woman is 42 years old, supposedly a "pillar of the community" (let him tell it) who is oh so concerned about children (she's the director a community center for fuck sake!!) and she can't even make accommodations for my son to have a bed. I know that she's only been a mother for a few years now (since she adopted a half-grown child and doesn't have any biological kids of...

It may not be right, but it's real

"Cause to me, it's, there's nothing that's personal and private, it's all universal. There's no experience that I have ever had that's unique. And the fact that there is just certain stuff that we share but don't admit to and don't talk about. You know, what is that about?” ~Ani Difranco I talk about a lot of scandalous controversial topics here on my blog. And I try my best to keep it 95.7% real (as I promised, the good, the bad and the ugly). My goal is to share my experiences so that maybe someone else out there can learn from my mistakes or just see that they are not alone out there when it...

Don't try and get it just cuz I got it

I have 3 words for you, loved ones: B!tches ain't sh*t. My apologies for my use of such a patently derogatory phrase.... but you all know that at least for some females in some situations, it's true. The situation that is my current frame of reference is one we have all observed and/or acted in accordance with, and that is the phenomenon of not wanting someone until someone else has them. I don't know why people-- both men and women-- are wired this way, but we just are. However, what I'm talking about are the actions that stem from these feelings, which we as human beings with free will and...

I've been Tagged!

So I normally reserve this sort of thing for Facebook and such, but Daughter just left for her weekend with The Ex and I'm really, really bored, so I'ma take one for the team and do this here. I was tagged by Ladebelle over at Rants of a Wild Child to come up with 7 random things about myself. Wanna hear it? Here it go:THE RULES:1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment...

"Been an awful good girl.... Santa Baby"

"Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, For me. been an awful good girl, Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight...." It is time, once again, for my 3rd (???) Annual Christmas Wish List of things I know good and damn well I'm not going to get but I'm a masochistic freak and keep doing this list every year anyway I want Santa to bring me for Christmas. I am by far not a materialistic girl..... I'm not all into designer ish, I don't equate dollar amounts with how much a person cares, and simple things make me happy. Hell,...

Thanksgiving Recap: Little Sister to the Rescue

Thanksgiving.... probably my favorite holiday. It's a time to get together with friends and loved ones (which are one in the same for me) without all the commercialized BS and stress of Christmas. Plus I LOVE holiday food.... I may cook each dish individually throughout the year, but the combination of them all on one plate just makes me squirm with delight happy.This year wasn't looking to be so great, though. Mom has been in the hospital, my siblings are scattered all around the country and my sisters had spent money to come visit mom in the hospital 2 weeks before the holiday, I am broke as...

Forgiveness: A relationship with time

The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time.And that's why when one has become a forgiving person,and has managed to let go of the past,what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time.~ Caroline Myss ~I once heard forgiveness defined as the letting to of the desire to see another person suffer. When someone has wronged us, we naturally want them to pay for what they have done.... some retribution of sorts. The inability to forgive, however, is desiring to see that person pay that retribution over, and over, and over again. Until we completely let...

Hey.... that's ME! (a video tribute to locs)

My loctician posted a video that was put together by a woman in DC and posted on YouTube. It is a tribute to dreadlocks and features photos of various women-- both regular people and celebrities-- with beautiful locs (the video was NOT done by him or anyone affiliated with him). VERY much to my surprise, *I* am one of the women pictured in this montage! Ok, so this has nothing to do with divorce or dating or parenting (but it does have to do with love, for locs are truly a labor of love, and I love locs), but I just thought this was very cool and I'm really flattered and I just wanted to...

Emotional Baggage Sundays

Lemme go ahead and get this out real quick......1. I'm starting to get really worried about my mother.... I thought she would be out of the hospital by this weekend, but I haven't heard any indication of when they're going transfer out of the ICU, let alone let her go home. She's been there for 2 full weeks now. Now they're trying to figure out why she's having a hard time eating. Seems like they're having to treat everything but the original condition she went in for. She just hasn't been taking care of herself (though I'm not one to talk.... just took my blood pressure in the mall today...

Divine in '09

So it looks like starting in January 2009 I will be resuming "normal" life.... yes, I WILL HAVE A JOB!! *does happy dance* After a year of worrying and uncertainty with my career, I got a job offer to work at a very progressive minority-owned firm that is growing by leaps and bounds. I'm VERY excited about the opportunities and have a very good feeling about the people and the work environment. I'm still awaiting the formal offer letter and have to sort out all the details (i.e. $$$), but I'm confident that things will work out and everything...

Geez, I was just joking.....

DISCLAIMER: The tagline on my blog is a joke. I don't advocate the unlawful termination of the life of anyone's Ex, no matter how much of an unreasonable and uncooperative ass he may be. So, don't let this happen to you:Indianapolis woman convicted in murder-for-hire case Jury finds woman guilty but mentally ill; she claimed entrapment By Jon Murrayjon.murray@indystar.com A jury Wednesday convicted an Indianapolis woman of conspiracy to commit murder in a case brought after she paid an undercover police officer to kill her ex-husband.D'Antonette Burns, 35, was locked in a custody dispute...

Love Conquers All

The other day I went over to my parents' house to pick up Daughter and my dad was outside working in the yard. My mother has been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks, so he's just been there alone with the menagerie (dog, cat, the once stray cockatiel). I was walking to my car and he looked at me with the saddest look I've EVER seen on his face and said "I need a hug." I have never, EVER heard my dad say anything like that before, and it just hurt me to the core of my soul because I could see, hear and FEEL the sadness and fear that I know he has over my mother's condition. I bring up my parents'...

Another lesson in jurisdiction - Parenting Edition

Previously I discussed the concept of jurisdiction as it relates to dating and relationships..... well, jurisdiction has surfaced once again, this time in the context of 2 household parenting.Just in case you forgot (or didn't read... shame on you), here's the definition of jurisdiction:ju·ris·dic·tion /ˌdʒʊərɪsˈdɪkʃən/ [joor-is-dik-shuhn] –noun1. the right, power, or authority to administer justice by hearing and determining controversies.2. power; authority; control: He has jurisdiction over all American soldiers in the area.3. the extent or range of judicial, law enforcement, or other authority:...

And the daddy tomato said "ketchup"

I've had a lot of things on my mind, loved ones, and haven't had much time to sit down and write written anything lately, so I just wanted to do a quick rundown of the happenings as of late, and maybe I'll come back and expound upon some of them in a true post:1. My mother has been in the coronary ICU for the past week with a tear in the lining of her aorta. Yes, it is as painful as it sounds. I'm extremely worried about her recovery because the tear was caused by sustained high blood pressure (she jokes that she had a "blow out"). Problem is that she stays so angry all the time! And this anger...

Logophilia...what turns me on

As I've stated before, I LOVE words. Apparently, so does James Lipton. Interesting commentary on the power and passion of words.(I know this has nothing to do with divorce or dating, but it relates to love, so there you ...

I must be doing SOMETHING right....

My #1 consideration in deciding whether or not to go ahead and get divorced was not love, or finding happiness, or money, but rather how it would affect my kids. If it hadn't been for my concern about my children, I probably would have been out of that relationship a LONG time ago (if I were even in it at all.... but that's another philosophical debate for another day). My biggest fear was that I was going to mess my children up for LIFE..... all the positive progress I'd made with them shaping them into decent human beings would be out the window. I was scared they'd become academic probation,...

Aligning the Stars

This past weekend I had a.... uh.... discussion regarding compatibility and the stars. No, not Hollywood stars......astrology stars. Now, I'm not a big huge believer in astrology (I don't ask people what their sign is when I meet them) but I do have to admit that some of the stuff is uncannily on point and I will let it nudge me in certain directions that I seem to be already headed. Case in point... my overview for yesterday:Your emotional side is almost completely exposed right now and it's all too easy to get riled up over small frustrations. Try to let people know you're dealing with more...