Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

December 8, 2008

It may not be right, but it's real

"Cause to me, it's, there's nothing that's personal and private, it's all universal. There's no experience that I have ever had that's unique. And the fact that there is just certain stuff that we share but don't admit to and don't talk about. You know, what is that about?”
~Ani Difranco

I talk about a lot of scandalous controversial topics here on my blog. And I try my best to keep it 95.7% real (as I promised, the good, the bad and the ugly). My goal is to share my experiences so that maybe someone else out there can learn from my mistakes or just see that they are not alone out there when it comes to topics that most people don't have the courage to talk about.

I'm really getting weary with folks out here in the blogosphere with holier-than-thou attitudes who act like they have this life thing all figured out (in their mid-20's no less....GTFOHWTBS), and sit parked behind their laptops in the safety of anonymity spitting out their unseasoned advice to the rest of the world wide interweb. I know.... that's just people. But life is a lot simpler when you're not the one living it.

I try not to take that approach to people and their life situations. We all fuck up. We all do dumb things. And sometimes it is just helpful for one person to say to you "You know what, I've been there, too" just to make you feel a little less lonely so you have the courage take off that cloak of shame and make some life changes. Empathy is NOT the same as condoning. Let me stress that again in other terms: Just because I can see your perspective doesn't mean I'm cosigning on it, and just because I've been through it myself doesn't mean I think it's justified or right. The difference between me and these other self-righteous judgmental boobs folks is that I'll admit that I fucked up, that I'm human, and that we all have the potential to fuck up. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's ok, but I'm just saying that it just IS.

I don't have all the answers.... I don't pretend to have all the answers. All I have is what I've been through and what I've learned, and I'm willing to share what I've learned. There are enough people and things in this world to make us feel bad about ourselves.... I'm just saying that I've decided that I'm not going to be one of them.

"I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge."
-- Igor Stravinsky

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Britt said...

I think that the written word is powerful. Without voice inflections and other things the spoken word lends to us, written words come off as harsher.

I also agree with you that blogs (as bloggers and commenters) allow us to be SUPER critical and make judgments without knowing the whole story.

We could never know someone's life story from a blog post or comment. I think it works both ways and is a hard balance to strike.

December 8, 2008 at 11:09 AM  
Anonymous Jaded said...

Interesting topic. I was just reading a blog not too long ago about lol...cheating and the writer was kinda sorta dogging out women who cheat (not unusual I guess) but I was suprised because ALLLLLLL the comments were like co-signing and agreeing.

Even before I made some poor choices in my life I was never one to act disgusted or angry about things that I didn't agree with. (promiscuity was is something that I struggle to "accept" but I try HARD not to judge when I hear/ read/ see things that make me think a person is out there like that...mainly because...well who the hell am I to be mad at YOUR decisions??).

December 8, 2008 at 2:30 PM  
Anonymous ladebelle said...

maaaan... f- dem hoes!!!

jk... but kinda serious... i totally agree with you here... until you are knee deep in some sh!t, your perspective on things is totally different.

life is a classroom and we all get our lessons... i really respect your decision to share with others to help people prevent making mistakes or even give them some knowledge on what they're getting into...

don't ever let another make you feel judged because that's not their place... as T.I. said, "Live your Life" and that's it...

xoxo
ladebelle

p.s.
to all you haters out there, if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!!!

December 8, 2008 at 3:37 PM  
Anonymous Single Black Male said...

Man ... I can't help but think I know exactly what your talking about ... and I agree. I've probably done it before ... but there are some people that I think make it there job to tell people what to do.

I think I'm gonna leave it at that being a 20 something who gives advice and opinions behind an anonymous name on the regular.

I so hope your not talking about me ...

December 9, 2008 at 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anesidora said...

@SBM: No I'm not talking about you, dear. We all do a lil pontification, but you are one of the people who will admit that you just don't know everything. Having theories and opinions is one thing; thinking you have the world all figured out and can't understand why the rest of the world is so bass akward and thinking you are better than said bass akward individuals is another thing.

I just wish people would realize that they should never say never, nothing is absolute, and you don't truly know unless you've been there.... and even then, everyone's experience is still different. And, not to be so hard on people, because one day it may be you looking for that bit of empathy.

December 9, 2008 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Thank you for this.
Honesty is rare around these parts.

January 27, 2011 at 12:24 PM  

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Adventures in Divorce: It may not be right, but it's real

It may not be right, but it's real

"Cause to me, it's, there's nothing that's personal and private, it's all universal. There's no experience that I have ever had that's unique. And the fact that there is just certain stuff that we share but don't admit to and don't talk about. You know, what is that about?”
~Ani Difranco

I talk about a lot of scandalous controversial topics here on my blog. And I try my best to keep it 95.7% real (as I promised, the good, the bad and the ugly). My goal is to share my experiences so that maybe someone else out there can learn from my mistakes or just see that they are not alone out there when it comes to topics that most people don't have the courage to talk about.

I'm really getting weary with folks out here in the blogosphere with holier-than-thou attitudes who act like they have this life thing all figured out (in their mid-20's no less....GTFOHWTBS), and sit parked behind their laptops in the safety of anonymity spitting out their unseasoned advice to the rest of the world wide interweb. I know.... that's just people. But life is a lot simpler when you're not the one living it.

I try not to take that approach to people and their life situations. We all fuck up. We all do dumb things. And sometimes it is just helpful for one person to say to you "You know what, I've been there, too" just to make you feel a little less lonely so you have the courage take off that cloak of shame and make some life changes. Empathy is NOT the same as condoning. Let me stress that again in other terms: Just because I can see your perspective doesn't mean I'm cosigning on it, and just because I've been through it myself doesn't mean I think it's justified or right. The difference between me and these other self-righteous judgmental boobs folks is that I'll admit that I fucked up, that I'm human, and that we all have the potential to fuck up. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's ok, but I'm just saying that it just IS.

I don't have all the answers.... I don't pretend to have all the answers. All I have is what I've been through and what I've learned, and I'm willing to share what I've learned. There are enough people and things in this world to make us feel bad about ourselves.... I'm just saying that I've decided that I'm not going to be one of them.

"I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge."
-- Igor Stravinsky

Labels: , ,