Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

June 12, 2008

A Little Background.....

My name is.... well, my name really isn't important. What is important is the fact that I am an almost 30-year old woman who has spent the last year of my life getting divorced, and even though the ink is dry on the final documents, I am still in the process of getting divorced. Divorce isn't just a break.... it's more like a disentanglement where you try to separate everything with the least amount of damage as possible. Unfortunately, damage avoidance is impossible.... financial damage, property damage, emotional damage, reputational damage..... I've been through it all.

So here's basically the background leading up to this point: My ex husband (hereinafter "Ex" or "The Ex")and I were high school sweethearts who started dating freshman year. We met in the cafeteria, went to all the dances together, all that cute stuff that makes you say "awwwww"... but you can save it. Sophomore year of high school I got pregnant and had our son when I was not quite 16. We graduated from high school in 1996 (me at the top of the class, him at the bottom) and I moved out and got my own place where he lived at when convenient (i.e. lived there when he wanted somewhere to lay up, didn't live there when bills came due). We had a daughter when I was 20 and a junior in college, and then we were married at 21 (why 21? Because I wanted to be able to (legally) drink at my own wedding). I kept going to school, graduated with high distinction from the school of business in 2001, went on to law school, and that's when the shyt started its slow downward slide. I graduated from law school cum laude in 2004, got the "dream job" at the big firm, and shyt started sliding faster. Long story short, we separated in April 2007 and finally divorced in May 2008.

This past year has been the most hellacious of my life... I've dealt with infidelity, domestic battery, vandalism, suicide, therapy, theft, unemployment, pregnancy/abortions, and a whole lot of bitchass behavior. But I can honestly say I don't regret my decision one bit and I think I'm a better, stronger person for it. But now comes the hard part..... remember I said that we were high school sweethearts?? That means, at 30 years old, I am completely new to the dating scene. Last time I was single all that was involved in "dating" was asking someone if they wanted to "go together". Now I find myself trying to navigate all the rules and standards and craziness of this thing called dating, all while still trying to deal with the fall out of the divorce, raise a 14 year old boy and a 9 year old daughter, and maintain my sanity at the same time. Oh, and did I mention that I'm one of the most random, eclectic, strange, free-spirited people that I know?? Craziness......

So this is what I want to do.... I want to document all the crazy crap I've been through, am going through, and will go through trying to deal with divorce and being new on the dating scene. Aye dios mio.... what a ride.

2 Comments:

Anonymous jolie fatale said...

you are truly a fighter.. I cant wait to read the rest of your posts....

some men are threatened by women who excel in the face of diversity.

August 10, 2008 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Jaded said...

Obviously I'm super duper late but I think I'm going to be you...5 years from now. Minus the babies.
With HS sweetheart- check
Law student-check
tumultuous relationship- check

I'm intrigued.

October 29, 2008 at 9:10 PM  

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Adventures in Divorce: A Little Background.....

A Little Background.....

My name is.... well, my name really isn't important. What is important is the fact that I am an almost 30-year old woman who has spent the last year of my life getting divorced, and even though the ink is dry on the final documents, I am still in the process of getting divorced. Divorce isn't just a break.... it's more like a disentanglement where you try to separate everything with the least amount of damage as possible. Unfortunately, damage avoidance is impossible.... financial damage, property damage, emotional damage, reputational damage..... I've been through it all.

So here's basically the background leading up to this point: My ex husband (hereinafter "Ex" or "The Ex")and I were high school sweethearts who started dating freshman year. We met in the cafeteria, went to all the dances together, all that cute stuff that makes you say "awwwww"... but you can save it. Sophomore year of high school I got pregnant and had our son when I was not quite 16. We graduated from high school in 1996 (me at the top of the class, him at the bottom) and I moved out and got my own place where he lived at when convenient (i.e. lived there when he wanted somewhere to lay up, didn't live there when bills came due). We had a daughter when I was 20 and a junior in college, and then we were married at 21 (why 21? Because I wanted to be able to (legally) drink at my own wedding). I kept going to school, graduated with high distinction from the school of business in 2001, went on to law school, and that's when the shyt started its slow downward slide. I graduated from law school cum laude in 2004, got the "dream job" at the big firm, and shyt started sliding faster. Long story short, we separated in April 2007 and finally divorced in May 2008.

This past year has been the most hellacious of my life... I've dealt with infidelity, domestic battery, vandalism, suicide, therapy, theft, unemployment, pregnancy/abortions, and a whole lot of bitchass behavior. But I can honestly say I don't regret my decision one bit and I think I'm a better, stronger person for it. But now comes the hard part..... remember I said that we were high school sweethearts?? That means, at 30 years old, I am completely new to the dating scene. Last time I was single all that was involved in "dating" was asking someone if they wanted to "go together". Now I find myself trying to navigate all the rules and standards and craziness of this thing called dating, all while still trying to deal with the fall out of the divorce, raise a 14 year old boy and a 9 year old daughter, and maintain my sanity at the same time. Oh, and did I mention that I'm one of the most random, eclectic, strange, free-spirited people that I know?? Craziness......

So this is what I want to do.... I want to document all the crazy crap I've been through, am going through, and will go through trying to deal with divorce and being new on the dating scene. Aye dios mio.... what a ride.