Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

November 12, 2008

I must be doing SOMETHING right....

My #1 consideration in deciding whether or not to go ahead and get divorced was not love, or finding happiness, or money, but rather how it would affect my kids. If it hadn't been for my concern about my children, I probably would have been out of that relationship a LONG time ago (if I were even in it at all.... but that's another philosophical debate for another day). My biggest fear was that I was going to mess my children up for LIFE..... all the positive progress I'd made with them shaping them into decent human beings would be out the window. I was scared they'd become academic probation, juvenile delinquent, need to go to Maury bad teen boot camp messes.

But alas, that seems not to be the case. *knocks on wood* After their first semester of the new school year--their first semester after the finalization of the divorce and the new living arrangements set in-- I've received some indication that they are adjusting fairly well to the changes in our lives. While it's not the end all be all, I think academic performance is a good litmus test of how kids are doing because when things are bad with kids, it's usually reflected in their grades. So here it goes:

Son (first semester of high school, and at a private high school at that):
World History (honors)............. A-
Spanish II.............................. B+
Theology................................ A-
Algebra I (honors).................... A+ (!!!)
Modern Technology.................. A
English 9 (honor)...................... B-

(For a 4.084 GPA (out of 4.0)!!!)

Daughter (4th grade, where things start becoming more challenging and expectations are ramped up):
Social Science.......................... A-
Reading................................... A
Spelling................................... A
Writing.................................... A
Math........................................ A
Spanish.................................... A

(keep in mind that Daughter lives with me *pats self on back*)

I am SO pleased and SO proud of my children. I really needed this validation and indication of their well-being right now, particularly considering the fact that the Ex constantly tries to paint me as a lackluster parent, which I know that I am NOT (hateration and sour grapes... that's all it is.... he has no other basis for the assertion, though it still bothers me for some reason.......perhaps because of my non-traditional nature).

But let me step back and put on my Bigger Person shoes..... I say I must be doing something right, but for all my complaints and disagreements, I have to backtrack and say WE must be doing something right. I will not be like the Ex and take sole credit for the positive parenting of our children, because they are influenced by the both of us.

(Although, I will take genetic credit for my kids smarticles, cuz it SHO didn't come from him......I can show you the academic transcripts to prove it)

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Kela said...

Go ahead with your bad self! Number one, I'm all about education and the kids, especially black children. Too often they are praised for sports, but not academics. My son is a straight A whiz kid (in private school where the grading scale is 96-100 for an A), and for that, we celebrate. Kudos to your children and their parents. Number two, I love the fact that you corrected yourself at the end of your post. You're right, your children are a reflection of the both of you. As such, you both deserve that pat on that back. Don't be petty just because someone else it. Always maintain your elegance!! Good for you.

November 18, 2008 at 10:43 AM  

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Adventures in Divorce: I must be doing SOMETHING right....

I must be doing SOMETHING right....

My #1 consideration in deciding whether or not to go ahead and get divorced was not love, or finding happiness, or money, but rather how it would affect my kids. If it hadn't been for my concern about my children, I probably would have been out of that relationship a LONG time ago (if I were even in it at all.... but that's another philosophical debate for another day). My biggest fear was that I was going to mess my children up for LIFE..... all the positive progress I'd made with them shaping them into decent human beings would be out the window. I was scared they'd become academic probation, juvenile delinquent, need to go to Maury bad teen boot camp messes.

But alas, that seems not to be the case. *knocks on wood* After their first semester of the new school year--their first semester after the finalization of the divorce and the new living arrangements set in-- I've received some indication that they are adjusting fairly well to the changes in our lives. While it's not the end all be all, I think academic performance is a good litmus test of how kids are doing because when things are bad with kids, it's usually reflected in their grades. So here it goes:

Son (first semester of high school, and at a private high school at that):
World History (honors)............. A-
Spanish II.............................. B+
Theology................................ A-
Algebra I (honors).................... A+ (!!!)
Modern Technology.................. A
English 9 (honor)...................... B-

(For a 4.084 GPA (out of 4.0)!!!)

Daughter (4th grade, where things start becoming more challenging and expectations are ramped up):
Social Science.......................... A-
Reading................................... A
Spelling................................... A
Writing.................................... A
Math........................................ A
Spanish.................................... A

(keep in mind that Daughter lives with me *pats self on back*)

I am SO pleased and SO proud of my children. I really needed this validation and indication of their well-being right now, particularly considering the fact that the Ex constantly tries to paint me as a lackluster parent, which I know that I am NOT (hateration and sour grapes... that's all it is.... he has no other basis for the assertion, though it still bothers me for some reason.......perhaps because of my non-traditional nature).

But let me step back and put on my Bigger Person shoes..... I say I must be doing something right, but for all my complaints and disagreements, I have to backtrack and say WE must be doing something right. I will not be like the Ex and take sole credit for the positive parenting of our children, because they are influenced by the both of us.

(Although, I will take genetic credit for my kids smarticles, cuz it SHO didn't come from him......I can show you the academic transcripts to prove it)

Labels: ,