"And meet a new lover, and he'll call you Gail...."

Today I am taking a break from my personal BS featuring a guest "blogger" (she doesn't really blog, but whatever) who wrote a break-up song about a guy she was dating that I found highly amusing, so I asked if I could share it with my loved ones in the blogosphere. She wrote 2 versions, an original and the "remix" (the first is a ballad, the second has more of a punk rock feel.... not that we have actual music for it, but you get the idea). It's funny how 2 people can see a situation in 2 completely different ways..... it's even funnier when 1 person does it.

My friends are special.

So without further adieu, I present "Good-Bye My Lover":

We met on a rainy Sunday at a pub in Camden Town.
I was with him; you, with your friends – neither seeking to be found.
A storm appeared and you sought me out to be my calm
You charmed me and surprised me and I let my guard down.

An unanticipated affair - soft, easy and affectionate
None too sure if this could go, we took it slow and kept it innocent.
No talks of the future and little of our pasts
Nothing was expected, no demands did we cast.

We were a fluke – a chance meeting that never was supposed to be
I have no right to ask you where you are or what you want me to be
I don't need closure, I have clarity
Thank you for the opportunity
Good-bye my lover...

What we had was special but now it time to say good-bye.
I'll see you in another life at another place in time
But for now let's just say good-bye.

Staring out the window as the sun sets on my suppose-ed loneliness
My mind begins to question
And answers, "I'm not upset"
I never cheated
You never lied
You never stormed out
I never cried
Nothing between us was ever left unsaid
I only harbour fondness of the good times we had
We never fought or made each other feel pain.
There's nothing to long for and no one to blame.

We were an accident – a flame that never was
I will never ask you to be my forever love
No need to ask me for forgiveness and I don't need an apology
Thank you for bringing out the best in me
Good-bye my lover...

What we had was special but now it time to say good-bye.
I'll see you in another life at another place in time
But for now let's just say good-bye.

What we had was enchanting
A brief friendship in time.
No reason to be hurt or shed a tear
I live without wishing you were mine.
And for all you did my lover this song is my one token
Picking up the pieces is impossible because nothing's been broken.

With all my respect and best of intentions
Thank you for the memories.
Good-by my lover...good-bye

And the Remix......

We met on a rainy Sunday at a pub in Camden Town.
I was with him; you, with your friends – neither seeking to be found.
Midway through, he f***ed up and in to me you stepped
Thought you charmed and wowed me but you just made me upset.

You never should have sat down next to me that night
From the look on my face you should have known I was ready to fight.
I didn't like the sound of your voice or the way you looked
Whiny and plain like right from a Jane Austen book.

I swore I'd never call you but you kept calling me
No matter how many times I told you to get the h*ll away from me
I don't want to know you
You'll never be the man I need
Step off m*thaf*****!

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye.

Staring out the window as the sun sets
My mind begins to question
And answers, "I'm d*** upset"
You show up at my house
You show up at my job
You send me rubbish flowers
You never shut your gob
You try to earn my respect
This you'll never do
I'd never be seen in public
With the likes of you

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye

I wish you'd go kill yourself

You make me so angry
Stop pestering me
I'll never go out with you - keep your apology
Return to your dungeon alone forever you'll be

Step off m*thaf*****!

We'll never have a romance
No, we'll never be friends
I won't feel warm and fuzzy
And this is where it ends.
As for the restraining order - violate and you'll go to jail
And meet a new lover and he'll call you Gail.

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye.

Copyright 2009 "Mistress Amber" Ying