June 21, 2008

WANTED: Cuddle Jump Off

I think I may have a problem. Ok, so I have many problems. But this particular problem deals with the fact that, for over 10 years, I always had someone to sleep in the bed with me. I'm not talking about sex here.... I'm talking about someone's physical presence next to me in my bed. Someone whom I could roll over and snuggle against his back for a few minutes and then roll over and go back to sleep, someone to reach over and give me a lil rub, someone whose rhythmic breathing was the normal background sounds to my sleeping every night. For the past year I've been doing without it..... I've migrated to the middle of the bed, I stack up pillows on both sides of me (and even went so far as to buy a body pillow recently), and I spread out far and wide across the mattress. But still, old habits die hard, and I often find myself just wanting someone to come sleep in the bed with me.

I've termed this as needing a "cuddle jump off." Yea, I said jump off. Someone whose sole purpose is to sleep in the bed with me and provide the occasional cuddle (because I'm really not a HUGE cuddler, especially once I really get down to the business of sleep). I need nothing else from you, just your physical presence while I sleep. The problem with finding such a person to fulfill this role is that usually when you get in bed with a man in some sort of sleep attire short of flannel PJs (which I don't wear..... ew), and you don't normally sleep in the bed with this man every night, it usually makes them want to have sex. Darn. But I can't say I blame them, and I've always thought it was unfair of women who would get in a dude's bed scantily clothed, or not clothed at all, and then act appalled when he tried to make a move. Getouttaherewiththatbullshit. You don't throw a steak into the lion's den and then get pissed when he tries to eat it.

So there lies my quandary.... finding someone who will keep me company in bed without all the extracurriculars. I actually did have one for a minute.... a nice young man who would let me come over and stay the night when I'd had too many drinks at my Saturday Spot downtown and he never tried to make a move. Aw, his momma taught him right. But that's extremely rare, and I don't know what kind of self restraint techniques he used, but I'll tell you, most men don't have them. And I'm not saying that I expect them to. I know I'm asking for something unrealistic.... a girl can dream, right? I'm just saying that lonely sleeping is definitely something I'm still trying to adjust to.

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