Less Money, More Problems

We all know the song "More Money, More Problems"..... forget that. One major adjustment that comes with separation and divorce is adjusting to the sudden disappearance of one person's income. It doesn't matter if your spouse was making significantly less than you were (as was the case with me), the disappearance of 1/4 of your household income is something that takes some adjusting to. Needless to say, a few months ago I wasn't adjusting very well........

(originally posted on October 24, 2007)

I'm officially panicking right now about the state of my financial affairs. Not to get all into it, but it's bad..... really really bad. Fuck The Firm (yea I said it) for only paying associates once a month, while all the other employees get paid every two weeks. I'm sure it works out to some finanacial benefit to the partners, like an extra $23 they get to collect in interest or some shit like that..... it's always for the benefit of the partners; that's the whole goal. But that's the least of my concerns (partner/association relationship)...... my concern is trying to figure out how I'ma make it to November 15 without hoeing or some shit like that.

I just wanna smack the shit outta this dumb muthafucker (The Ex) that doesn't understand that if I spend $1000 on a cell bill (that he ran up) and $1000 on an attorney (which I insisted we didn't need attorneys and could just go to mediation and be done with it), plus all the other bills that normally get paid with two incomes and STILL come up short, that I don't then have the money for the mortgage, and since its his loan and not mine, and he's got no expenses but to feed his still fat ass, that he needs to pay it this month. Foreclosure?? Don't you think I know that shit?? Don't you remember that I've taken TWO real estate classes (one in undergrad, one in law school) and a property course?? Obviously not, just like he forgets all my other eductational attainments and wants to treat me like he's smarter than me...... an obvious sign that he's the dumbest muthafucker in the world. You bringing a wiffle bat to a gun fight, dude. So at this point I really don't give a fuck about his credit when I'm trying to figure out how I'ma pay for lunches, car insurance, food, and toilet paper until the 15th.

I should not be in this situation. I should not be a fucking cum laude JD grad corporate attorney and be stressed about my finances. That fact right there stresses me out. My money ain't as long as y'all think.... you know how money like this gets long?? Minimum credit card payments, and I use my credit card so infrequently that they suspend my shit when I DO use it because it triggers the fraud alert. But when you're using cash, and have drafty finances (i.e. someone running your cell bill up to $1600.... all that money for fucking TALKING!! Nothing to show for it!), your shit is mighty short.

I'm on the brink of some tortious (and possibly criminal) behavior..... either to get rid of this anger and frustration and/or to get me thru. But instead I know that the Universe will prevail and God will take care of the situation somehow..... in the end it'll be alright...... because it has to. My credit may be wrecked and mangled to hell, but I'll still have my life, I'll still have my kids, I'll still have my education, I'll still have right on my side. I'm a smart girl..... I'll figure out something.