Predictions of Change: Part Deux

There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will.

~Sam Cooke, "A Change is Gonna Come"

I quoted this song lyric in a blog post I wrote back on Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 in my old MySpace blog (and later republished on AID under "Predictions of Change (kind of eerie)") no less than 3 DAYS before the excrement hit the air conditioning and it was curtains for my marriage. I go back and read that and it kind of creeps me out.....Intuition is a powerful, powerful thing, loved ones.

Back in April 2007, I didn't know WHAT was coming. I didn't know in 3 days I'd be separated and on the road toward divorce; I didn't know that my career would take a serious nosedive (though I'm not going to say it ever crashed.... just was in a low altitude holding pattern for awhile) and in 8 month I would no longer be employed full time, didn't know I'd get to the point where I had to pawn old jewelry for gas money, and all the other bad things that I've recounted in this blog.

But here are other things that I didn't know were coming as well..... I didn't know I would meet such great people who have helped me get through everything and have held me down when I needed it most..... sometimes financially, but mostly emotionally. I didn't know that after hitting rock bottom, I'd emerge from the wreckage with the tools I needed to change my outlook on life. I didn't know that I would radically change my coping skills and become a much more positive and patient person. I didn't know that I would learn that I don't need as much stuff as I think and that I'd realize how much wasteful spending I was doing. I didn't know I would realize how to stand on my own two feet.

Well, a change for the better is finally coming, loved ones. I met with my future boss to talk details about the position at the firm that I will be working at starting in January. I'd just come from my $10/hr temp job feeling really beat down and loser-ish. I'd been talking to the folks at this firm since June... yes, JUNE.... about a position with them, but there had never been any talk about how much I would make there. I had mentally prepared myself for a serious pay cut since I was coming from a firm of 250+ attorneys and would be going to one of less than 10.

So I sit down and we exchange pleasantries, and then he puts the numbers out on the table. The best way to describe my reaction would be that it was very similar to what happens when a program stops responding in Windows Vista, and the screen kind of grays out a little and the "Not Responding" message comes up..... yea, that's what happened to me for about 30 seconds as he continued to talk. I'm not going to put all my business out there like that, but let's just say it is a SIGNIFICANT increase from what I was making at my old firm (like an 18% increase). And not only that, but my billable hour requirement will be LESS than what it was at my old firm. And not only that, but the firm is minority owned (but still diverse). And best of all, I really do feel like I'm going to be at a place where my contributions and intellect will be respected and appreciated.

I always say that everything happens for a reason and everything in the universe works out the way it is supposed to, and I'm so happy to see my mantra in action. Exactly a year ago I decided to leave my big firm, six figure job and step out on faith and a whim, because I knew I needed some change. This past year has been filled with ups and downs (mostly downs), stops and starts, lots of closed doors and false hopes. Yes, the negative things did upset me, but I never let them bring me all the way down because I knew that things would work out the way they are supposed to. Every time I got a "thanks but no thanks" letter, or no call back, or no response, I'd say a prayer: "God, please place me where I need to be." And when I'd get those rejections, I'd think "That must not be where I was supposed to be."

I'm not an overly religious person..... in fact, me and organized religion are quite at odds with each other. But I am a spiritual person who believes in God, and I believe that God is everywhere and in everything nudging and influencing the moving parts of life. One of my favorite books that truly had an impact on how I view life is Paul Coelho's "The Alchemist", and the main premise of the book is that the Universe consipires to help us reach our destiny (please read it, loved ones). This past year has really taught me to be patient and let God move those pieces, even when I couldn't see them moving. I'm just in awe sometimes when I think about how everyting fits and flows together, things you wouldn't even think have an impact, not only in your life but in others' lives. It's really too much to go into here, but just know that everything-- good and bad-- truly does happen for a reason, even if you don't see that reason for years to come, and maybe not even in your own life. But it all works out the way it is supposed to, loved ones.... it truly does.