Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

October 31, 2008

Radical Acceptance of What Is

Ok, so in my last (very) recent post I mentioned a concept called Radical Acceptance, and I feel the need to expound upon this a little more. People sometimes wonder why I'm so calm about things and mistake it for not caring, or a "fuckit" mentality (which is an entirely different, more nefarious state of mind). No, it's not that, its just that I accept things for what they are, change what I can, and fuck deal with the rest.

I have been through A LOT over the past year and a half..... much more than the average person can process and handle. So instead of trying to fight and control and worry about every little thing (because that's what got me here), this is how I now cope with life. And I have to say, it's actually pretty useful and healthy way to deal with life (350 million Buddhists can't be wrong)..... I can think of a lot worse ways to cope with things.

So, here it goes......

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Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting life on its own terms and finding effective strategies to cope with whatever is happening. It doesn't mean being passive, but accepting "what is" with the understanding that you have the power of choice. Practicing radical acceptance is a choice that can ease stress and depression and enhance your overall quality of life.

1. Love and be gentle with yourself. Understand that real love must come from within. Radical acceptance means treating yourself as you would treat someone that you truly love.
Praise yourself. Tell yourself how well you are doing and stop criticizing yourself. Write down things you have done that make you feel proud and refer to it when you're experiencing feelings of self-doubt.

2. Accept yourself. Don't listen to the little voice in your head that says you aren't good enough. Accept the way you are, right now, without judgment.

3. Find ways to support yourself. Practice radical acceptance by reaching out to friends and loved ones and allowing them to support you.

4. Forgive yourself. Have compassion for yourself and where you are in your life. Acknowledge any real or perceived wrongs that you may have perpetrated in the past. Apologize if you have wronged others, and then let it go.

5. Lend a helping hand to others. Not only will it make a difference in their lives, but you will feel better and more positive about yourself.

6. Take care of your body, and accept it lovingly. Learn about exercise and nutrition and get adequate rest. Nurture yourself and allow yourself to feel good.

(from eHow: "How to Practice Radical Acceptance")

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Jaded said...

I feel like this would benefit me in sooooo many ways. Aside from number 5 (I always try to give what I can to who I can. Whether it be moral or just financial support) I struggle with each of these.

October 31, 2008 at 12:33 PM  

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Adventures in Divorce: Radical Acceptance of What Is

Radical Acceptance of What Is

Ok, so in my last (very) recent post I mentioned a concept called Radical Acceptance, and I feel the need to expound upon this a little more. People sometimes wonder why I'm so calm about things and mistake it for not caring, or a "fuckit" mentality (which is an entirely different, more nefarious state of mind). No, it's not that, its just that I accept things for what they are, change what I can, and fuck deal with the rest.

I have been through A LOT over the past year and a half..... much more than the average person can process and handle. So instead of trying to fight and control and worry about every little thing (because that's what got me here), this is how I now cope with life. And I have to say, it's actually pretty useful and healthy way to deal with life (350 million Buddhists can't be wrong)..... I can think of a lot worse ways to cope with things.

So, here it goes......

*************************

Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting life on its own terms and finding effective strategies to cope with whatever is happening. It doesn't mean being passive, but accepting "what is" with the understanding that you have the power of choice. Practicing radical acceptance is a choice that can ease stress and depression and enhance your overall quality of life.

1. Love and be gentle with yourself. Understand that real love must come from within. Radical acceptance means treating yourself as you would treat someone that you truly love.
Praise yourself. Tell yourself how well you are doing and stop criticizing yourself. Write down things you have done that make you feel proud and refer to it when you're experiencing feelings of self-doubt.

2. Accept yourself. Don't listen to the little voice in your head that says you aren't good enough. Accept the way you are, right now, without judgment.

3. Find ways to support yourself. Practice radical acceptance by reaching out to friends and loved ones and allowing them to support you.

4. Forgive yourself. Have compassion for yourself and where you are in your life. Acknowledge any real or perceived wrongs that you may have perpetrated in the past. Apologize if you have wronged others, and then let it go.

5. Lend a helping hand to others. Not only will it make a difference in their lives, but you will feel better and more positive about yourself.

6. Take care of your body, and accept it lovingly. Learn about exercise and nutrition and get adequate rest. Nurture yourself and allow yourself to feel good.

(from eHow: "How to Practice Radical Acceptance")

Labels: , ,