Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

June 7, 2010

If you like it then you shoulda put some ink on it

Don't let this happen to you.

Commitment issues.....probably the most rampant mental disorder of men everywhere (and many women as well). Commitment, and marriage specifically, is seen as The Enemy; the sign that you have given up, surrendered, foreclosed all other options.

I can somewhat understand commitment phobia.....to an extent. The trust and faith hurdle can be a big one to overcome (yet not insurmountable). What I will never, EVER understand is this: name tattoos.

Specifically I'm talking about the folks you see with "Tammy" or "Trina" tattooed across their neck/arm/wrist/chest without nary a piece of jewelry on the left hand. And yes, I am zeroing in on the guys because let's be real: At the end of the day, men are the ones who control when a marriage is to occur. Women are usually on board first, waiting for their guy to finally propose. It seems like getting a guy to commit to marriage is a major feat. Yet, despite the proclivity of men to avoid saying "I do" for as long as possible, I still see guys with their lady's name tattooed on their bodies while declaring that they aren't ready for the commitment of marriage.

In case you weren't aware of this patently obvious fact, let me break it down so that it is forever broken and put things into perspective: Marriage, despite best efforts and intentions, is not guaranteed to be permanent. A tattoo, however, is with you for the rest of your natural born LIFE.

How is it that you are scared to make the commitment to make a life with someone, yet you will go have her name permanently implanted in your dermis?? Am I missing something here?? If you intend to be with this woman's name for the rest of your life, have given yourself a 25/8/366 reminder of her existence, have committed to this "artwork" (that term is used very loosely), why is the commitment to marriage so difficult? The whole concept seems very ass backward to me.

And ladies, I'm not letting you off the hook, either. Why would you permanently tattoo "Jon Jon" across your ass when Jon Jon doesn't think enough of you to make you his wife? Is it really wise to forever mark yourself with the name of a man who can up and leave tomorrow on a whim?  And if it doesn't work out, do you really think your new beau will want to look at that every day?

Word to the wise: Leave the name tattoos alone unless you're talking about your child, parent, or anyone else who, by default, ain't going anywhere. Even for married folks, don't do it. At one point I considered getting my ex-husband's name tatted on me (though he also shares a first name with my son) and I thank my lucky stars I had sense enough to get an Adinkra symbol instead, because I probably would have clawed the damn thing off myself (eff a laser). I have a friend who had the name of her husband, with which she has 5 kids, tattooed in HUGE letters across her back; I recently saw her in Facebook pictures with her new fiancé. Yes, there is the option of laser removal, but why put yourself through that unnecessarily? Go get a tiger or a butterfly instead.

There's also the matter of the superstition that when you get a tattoo of your lover's name, your relationship is cursed and you are doomed to split up. I'm not sure how true this is, but judging by the amount of cover up work tattoo artists do, I'd say it's best not to test the theory.

If you absolutely MUST express your love via the pulse of an ink covered needle piercing your skin 100 times per second, just do like my sister and brother-in-law and get matching non-name tattoos. Yes, if you break up it will be a reminder, but at least your new boo won't have to be subject to "Property of Booski" every time you undress.

But for real..... just get her a ring instead, m'kay??

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2 Comments:

Anonymous D-Lo said...

HAHAHHAHA "...just get her a ring instead, m'kay?"

I love your candor, girl :) You make such a valid point--a ring is much less permanent and can be taken off without the drama and cringing!!

Love it!!
<3

November 26, 2010 at 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Janna said...

nice!

December 9, 2010 at 1:03 AM  

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Adventures in Divorce: If you like it then you shoulda put some ink on it

If you like it then you shoulda put some ink on it

Don't let this happen to you.

Commitment issues.....probably the most rampant mental disorder of men everywhere (and many women as well). Commitment, and marriage specifically, is seen as The Enemy; the sign that you have given up, surrendered, foreclosed all other options.

I can somewhat understand commitment phobia.....to an extent. The trust and faith hurdle can be a big one to overcome (yet not insurmountable). What I will never, EVER understand is this: name tattoos.

Specifically I'm talking about the folks you see with "Tammy" or "Trina" tattooed across their neck/arm/wrist/chest without nary a piece of jewelry on the left hand. And yes, I am zeroing in on the guys because let's be real: At the end of the day, men are the ones who control when a marriage is to occur. Women are usually on board first, waiting for their guy to finally propose. It seems like getting a guy to commit to marriage is a major feat. Yet, despite the proclivity of men to avoid saying "I do" for as long as possible, I still see guys with their lady's name tattooed on their bodies while declaring that they aren't ready for the commitment of marriage.

In case you weren't aware of this patently obvious fact, let me break it down so that it is forever broken and put things into perspective: Marriage, despite best efforts and intentions, is not guaranteed to be permanent. A tattoo, however, is with you for the rest of your natural born LIFE.

How is it that you are scared to make the commitment to make a life with someone, yet you will go have her name permanently implanted in your dermis?? Am I missing something here?? If you intend to be with this woman's name for the rest of your life, have given yourself a 25/8/366 reminder of her existence, have committed to this "artwork" (that term is used very loosely), why is the commitment to marriage so difficult? The whole concept seems very ass backward to me.

And ladies, I'm not letting you off the hook, either. Why would you permanently tattoo "Jon Jon" across your ass when Jon Jon doesn't think enough of you to make you his wife? Is it really wise to forever mark yourself with the name of a man who can up and leave tomorrow on a whim?  And if it doesn't work out, do you really think your new beau will want to look at that every day?

Word to the wise: Leave the name tattoos alone unless you're talking about your child, parent, or anyone else who, by default, ain't going anywhere. Even for married folks, don't do it. At one point I considered getting my ex-husband's name tatted on me (though he also shares a first name with my son) and I thank my lucky stars I had sense enough to get an Adinkra symbol instead, because I probably would have clawed the damn thing off myself (eff a laser). I have a friend who had the name of her husband, with which she has 5 kids, tattooed in HUGE letters across her back; I recently saw her in Facebook pictures with her new fiancé. Yes, there is the option of laser removal, but why put yourself through that unnecessarily? Go get a tiger or a butterfly instead.

There's also the matter of the superstition that when you get a tattoo of your lover's name, your relationship is cursed and you are doomed to split up. I'm not sure how true this is, but judging by the amount of cover up work tattoo artists do, I'd say it's best not to test the theory.

If you absolutely MUST express your love via the pulse of an ink covered needle piercing your skin 100 times per second, just do like my sister and brother-in-law and get matching non-name tattoos. Yes, if you break up it will be a reminder, but at least your new boo won't have to be subject to "Property of Booski" every time you undress.

But for real..... just get her a ring instead, m'kay??

Labels: ,