Results may vary from those shown.... proceed with caution.
So this morning I was listening to my Thursday morning guilty pleasure, Wrong Number Flirting, and the mission on which Slutty Chelsea (the telephone decoy) was put upon was a bit different from the typical chick trying to find out if her man is a philandering man whore cheating. Today's caller was a woman (let's call her L) who had been dating a chick (let's call her B) for about 6 weeks and was SO in love with her, but suspected that B still had her foot on the other side of the fence, i.e. she was still seeing men. This was B's first lesbian relationship but had told the L that she'd never felt like this with anyone before, really cared for her, etc. But thanks to a Blackberry and a bit of snooping, ole girl realized her new lady friend was still e-mailing her ex-boyfriend. Enter Slutty Chelsea and her first lesbian challenge.
Slutty Chelsea calls B pretending that her girlfriend recommended B for hair coloring services. Per usual, Slutty Chelsea goes on to play the "you sound hot let's meet up" card, to which B responds that she's flattered, but she has a BOYFRIEND. Busted. L comes back on the phone, hurt and asking for explanations, to which B replies in so many words "This was nothing serious..... I was just having fun." And then her solution to the problem was an an offer bring a guy into the mix. Aye dios mio.
As much as I laughed in my car at the whole scenario (as I do when anyone gets busted), a bigger part of me was pissed on behalf of L and all the other women who have had their feelings hurt by someone who was "just having fun." Dabbling into the realm of bi-sexuality seems to be all the rage now. It's almost a rite of passage for women from 18 to 25 (or beyond). Young women play around for a bit, then box up that phase in their lives and go on to marry Mr. Right and have her 2.5 kids, and might whisper about her exploits to her fellow soccer moms over one too many martinis. No big deal, right? Wrong.
The thing that pisses me off the most about the treatment of gays and lesbians by our society is that they are not seen as human beings with regular human lives and human emotions. All our society sees is SEX, which for any heterosexual person is accepted as only a small facet of their life (unless you're a porn star). ALL people have feelings, seek love, and avoid hurt. B treated L like a game, something fun to do til she got it out of her system, while L was looking for a real committed relationship.
Does this sound familiar?
Let's change the scenario around. Let's say L is a black female, and B is a white male. B has only dated white women, but has always wondered what it would be like to shag a black woman. So he engages L in what she thinks is a relationship, tells her how much he cares for her and how she makes him feel, and later she finds out that Becky has still been on the scene all this time while B used L as something to check off on his "Things to Do Before I Die" list. Swap "black" and "white" for any sort of characteristic (fat, skinny, amputee, little person, visually/hearing impaired) and flip flop the genders..... in all of these scenarios, one person was objectified and treated as a novelty, while the other played with their emotions for the sake of experimentation. People are not experiments, loved ones.
Going back to lesbians..... contrary to popular belief, lesbian women are not solely here for men's entertainment and sowing young women's wild oats. Those girls you see tonguing each other down in the club are not the representatives for women who love being with other women. I know lesbian couples who have been together for years, have homes, families, kids, LIVES together. They want love and happiness just like any other woman. But they want that with another WOMAN, not your freaky ass and whatever dude you want to bring around to add to the mix. Experimenting and dabbling is fine and all, but don't involve someone who is looking for a serious relationship and/or let her know up front what your intentions are. There are plenty of other dabblers and Nicki Minja Little Freaks out there to accomplish your purpose. There are also plenty of lesbian women who get off on "turning out" straight chicks and will enjoy using you just as much as you are using them. Just let them know up front where you're coming from and let them choose whether they want to proceed. Don't play with people's emotions and mislead them for your personal enjoyment, m'kay? It's really a simple, universal rule for any type of relationship.
So ladies, do your thing, explore your lives, just make sure you're not committing woman-on-woman emotional crimes and doing the same thing to lesbian women that you don't want done to you.
Slutty Chelsea calls B pretending that her girlfriend recommended B for hair coloring services. Per usual, Slutty Chelsea goes on to play the "you sound hot let's meet up" card, to which B responds that she's flattered, but she has a BOYFRIEND. Busted. L comes back on the phone, hurt and asking for explanations, to which B replies in so many words "This was nothing serious..... I was just having fun." And then her solution to the problem was an an offer bring a guy into the mix. Aye dios mio.
As much as I laughed in my car at the whole scenario (as I do when anyone gets busted), a bigger part of me was pissed on behalf of L and all the other women who have had their feelings hurt by someone who was "just having fun." Dabbling into the realm of bi-sexuality seems to be all the rage now. It's almost a rite of passage for women from 18 to 25 (or beyond). Young women play around for a bit, then box up that phase in their lives and go on to marry Mr. Right and have her 2.5 kids, and might whisper about her exploits to her fellow soccer moms over one too many martinis. No big deal, right? Wrong.
The thing that pisses me off the most about the treatment of gays and lesbians by our society is that they are not seen as human beings with regular human lives and human emotions. All our society sees is SEX, which for any heterosexual person is accepted as only a small facet of their life (unless you're a porn star). ALL people have feelings, seek love, and avoid hurt. B treated L like a game, something fun to do til she got it out of her system, while L was looking for a real committed relationship.
Does this sound familiar?
Let's change the scenario around. Let's say L is a black female, and B is a white male. B has only dated white women, but has always wondered what it would be like to shag a black woman. So he engages L in what she thinks is a relationship, tells her how much he cares for her and how she makes him feel, and later she finds out that Becky has still been on the scene all this time while B used L as something to check off on his "Things to Do Before I Die" list. Swap "black" and "white" for any sort of characteristic (fat, skinny, amputee, little person, visually/hearing impaired) and flip flop the genders..... in all of these scenarios, one person was objectified and treated as a novelty, while the other played with their emotions for the sake of experimentation. People are not experiments, loved ones.
Going back to lesbians..... contrary to popular belief, lesbian women are not solely here for men's entertainment and sowing young women's wild oats. Those girls you see tonguing each other down in the club are not the representatives for women who love being with other women. I know lesbian couples who have been together for years, have homes, families, kids, LIVES together. They want love and happiness just like any other woman. But they want that with another WOMAN, not your freaky ass and whatever dude you want to bring around to add to the mix. Experimenting and dabbling is fine and all, but don't involve someone who is looking for a serious relationship and/or let her know up front what your intentions are. There are plenty of other dabblers and Nicki Minja Little Freaks out there to accomplish your purpose. There are also plenty of lesbian women who get off on "turning out" straight chicks and will enjoy using you just as much as you are using them. Just let them know up front where you're coming from and let them choose whether they want to proceed. Don't play with people's emotions and mislead them for your personal enjoyment, m'kay? It's really a simple, universal rule for any type of relationship.
So ladies, do your thing, explore your lives, just make sure you're not committing woman-on-woman emotional crimes and doing the same thing to lesbian women that you don't want done to you.
4 comments:
So well said! Especially when you flipped it and interjected that tid bit about interracial dating. I could not agree with you more, but at the same time, we have to guard our own hearts; lesbian, straight, black, Hispanic, skinny, or fat. My big sis is over 30 and supposedly she's gay now. I'm telling you that she ain't! lol But I wish I could convey that to her lesbian girlfriend. I really hope my sis doesn't break this girl's heart, but it may head that way if I'm seeing things clear. But it will be the girlfriend's fault too. Since my sis started having lesbian relations (less than a year ago, all of a sudden and out of the blue), so many women have been fighting for her like she is some trophy. Like physical drop down, drag out fights (tomfoolery). I hope you can see what I saying. So in this case, L may be paying the price for "winning" B. If I can see from the outside that my sis is just dabbling, she should be able to see it too.
And btw I really enjoy reading your blog! Thanks for the post and wisdom/knowledge.
~Cam
I agree with you regarding having some personal responsibility for out own emotional well being. Some situations are obviously not in our best interests & it's our job to get out (kind of like ole girl did after 6 weeks on Wrong Number Flirting). And yes I've also seen/heard about ladies going after "new converts" and the thrill that involves. They assume the risk that the chick may be "just visiting"....again, they are have some responsibility for their own emotional well being. Its all about informed consent for everyone involved.
i hear dat! nice blog:)
I love this and I totally agree with you! I was talking about this with my sig O just yesterday after this song came on. Lesbianism is looked at as a trend, and because of that many people are misinformed about homosexual love/lifestyles. Thank you for posting this and I don't can't even/don't even know how to write about Ms. Nicki Minaj lol.
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