Adventures in Divorce

I always wondered why people who murdered their spouses didn't just get a divorce.... I now understand why

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Location: Nap Town, Indie-anne-ahhhhhh!, United States

No, I'm not a prophetess. Cassandra, according to Greek mythology, spurned the advances of the Greek god Apollo and her gift of prophecy was cursed so that her predictions would never be believed. Such is my life. I tend not to think like most people, which is a gift... but also a curse. So step into my mind, take off your shoes and stay for awhile... you're always welcome, loved ones.

May 27, 2009

Meeting the Fam

Memorial Day weekend was a major milestone for me and my relationship with my beau..... yes, I met The Family. *bites nails* It was really an unplanned event, as we had planned on making the formal introductions on June 27th at his sister's graduation. However, some events transpired the prior week that necessitated that I get away (*deep woo sah breath*), and my home girl in Detroit text'd me and said "You need to get away.....C'mon up here to The D", so I threw some clothes in a bag and went. My beau was already in the D visiting his family for his mother's birthday.... he'd driven up the day before to surprise her, so I decided to drive up there and surprise him.

(And boy was he surprised.... I called him and asked him where he and his boys were hanging out that night and told him I'd meet him there. He didn't believe me. But I sure did meet him outside the club. He kept saying the entire weekend "I can't believe you are here in the D!" I like surprises... giving and receiving.)

Before making my 5 hour drive, however, I had to grasp the realization that (1) I would be meeting his family for the first time (except for some uncles I met a few months ago) and (2) I was not in the best emotional state and they would be meeting me for the first time not at my very best. I needed to get away and get around some people, so I said eff it, I'm going.

Now what had me extra nervous was the fact that my beau is VERY close with his mother and 4 siblings, as well as a set of Godparents, and I..... well...... my family is about as tight as.... uh.... something not very tight [insert your own analogy here, cuz mine was terribly inappropriate]. I don't know what happened somewhere over the years, or generations, but something is just missing. It makes me sometimes feel like I was raised by wolves and am not quite sure how a normal family operates ("normal" being relative.... I'm talking about a comfortable, open relationship with family members.... or at least seeing and talking to each other more than just on major holidays/births/deaths/marriages). I was also nervous because it had been 16 years since I had to meet anyone's mother, and THAT didn't turn out too well.

I ended up meeting EVERYBODY in two days. I met his mother, 2 younger brothers, 1 of his younger sisters (the other doesn't live in town), his niece and nephew, his Godparents, his best friend, his Sands, and a few people he grew up with, plus a myriad of other related folks who were apparently all very anxious to meet me. I'll just state it plain and simple: I love his family. For once I didn't feel like an oddball weirdo..... not saying that they are oddball weirdos, but rather just not the mainstream, cliche norm. We went to a bowling fundraiser for his nephew and (damn near) EVERYONE there had locs and natural hair. Both his mother and his godmother we ecstatic that I had locs. His mother even gave me a professional massage (with patchouli scented oil which is one of my FAVORITE scents) AND broke out my beau's life story in pictures..... he said she's never done that for anyone else he's brought to the house. His mother and I have a lot in common, which is a huge relief and bodes well for the future, in my opinion (considering past experience with a mother who was my polar opposite).

All in all I think it went well, even though I wasn't quite feeling up to par, but I think they understood because my beau had explained what had transpired that previous week. It was just nice to see the "behind the scenes" of what and who helped shape and form the man that I get to interact with every day, and it just made me appreciate him that much more. And I'm very much looking forward to going back.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Luvvie said...

AAWWW!!! This made me smile. :-D

June 1, 2009 at 4:26 PM  
Anonymous mrstdj said...

Good to hear that the visit went well!

June 2, 2009 at 12:21 PM  

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Adventures in Divorce: Meeting the Fam

Meeting the Fam

Memorial Day weekend was a major milestone for me and my relationship with my beau..... yes, I met The Family. *bites nails* It was really an unplanned event, as we had planned on making the formal introductions on June 27th at his sister's graduation. However, some events transpired the prior week that necessitated that I get away (*deep woo sah breath*), and my home girl in Detroit text'd me and said "You need to get away.....C'mon up here to The D", so I threw some clothes in a bag and went. My beau was already in the D visiting his family for his mother's birthday.... he'd driven up the day before to surprise her, so I decided to drive up there and surprise him.

(And boy was he surprised.... I called him and asked him where he and his boys were hanging out that night and told him I'd meet him there. He didn't believe me. But I sure did meet him outside the club. He kept saying the entire weekend "I can't believe you are here in the D!" I like surprises... giving and receiving.)

Before making my 5 hour drive, however, I had to grasp the realization that (1) I would be meeting his family for the first time (except for some uncles I met a few months ago) and (2) I was not in the best emotional state and they would be meeting me for the first time not at my very best. I needed to get away and get around some people, so I said eff it, I'm going.

Now what had me extra nervous was the fact that my beau is VERY close with his mother and 4 siblings, as well as a set of Godparents, and I..... well...... my family is about as tight as.... uh.... something not very tight [insert your own analogy here, cuz mine was terribly inappropriate]. I don't know what happened somewhere over the years, or generations, but something is just missing. It makes me sometimes feel like I was raised by wolves and am not quite sure how a normal family operates ("normal" being relative.... I'm talking about a comfortable, open relationship with family members.... or at least seeing and talking to each other more than just on major holidays/births/deaths/marriages). I was also nervous because it had been 16 years since I had to meet anyone's mother, and THAT didn't turn out too well.

I ended up meeting EVERYBODY in two days. I met his mother, 2 younger brothers, 1 of his younger sisters (the other doesn't live in town), his niece and nephew, his Godparents, his best friend, his Sands, and a few people he grew up with, plus a myriad of other related folks who were apparently all very anxious to meet me. I'll just state it plain and simple: I love his family. For once I didn't feel like an oddball weirdo..... not saying that they are oddball weirdos, but rather just not the mainstream, cliche norm. We went to a bowling fundraiser for his nephew and (damn near) EVERYONE there had locs and natural hair. Both his mother and his godmother we ecstatic that I had locs. His mother even gave me a professional massage (with patchouli scented oil which is one of my FAVORITE scents) AND broke out my beau's life story in pictures..... he said she's never done that for anyone else he's brought to the house. His mother and I have a lot in common, which is a huge relief and bodes well for the future, in my opinion (considering past experience with a mother who was my polar opposite).

All in all I think it went well, even though I wasn't quite feeling up to par, but I think they understood because my beau had explained what had transpired that previous week. It was just nice to see the "behind the scenes" of what and who helped shape and form the man that I get to interact with every day, and it just made me appreciate him that much more. And I'm very much looking forward to going back.

Labels: ,